How to listen like a therapist: 4 secret skills

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Title	:	How to listen like a therapist: 4 secret skills
Lasting	:	15.51
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skill number 110: don't say "l woud also, l understand, l experienced" You, your capacity of understaning, your experience ist not important lff you're listening REALLY, you are listening and feeling what the other person is feeling don't demonstrate interest, BE interested
Comment from : @RuthJoss-cp4yv

Well I just now came across this video and these seem like a good skill to have The video was posted 5 years ago and is helping me today, pretty cool!
Comment from : @markmarshall5475

Great video🎉
Comment from : @gerribrown7602

I sent this to my mom
Comment from : @KitsunekoOwO

What is the root of it all? (My own)Is my favorite question As a Survivor of CSA, any and everything is a trigger I get angry at compassion sometimes, especially when I am drowning
Comment from : @Rainehunkin

Dude name dropped Professor X This dude is legit
Comment from : @ezequielcisneros5145

So how did those Christmas convos go? What worked/didnt?
Comment from : @StudyCom

What a gift Thank you
Comment from : @StudyCom

How to listen like a therapist? Make eye contact, nodd your head or tilt it as a sign of understanding and empathy Ask open questions Don't be afraid of silence, and let the client speak Paraphrase the clients thoughts to validate Meanwhile think about the household chores you have to do, the mortgage that needs to be paid and how you are getting more revenue out of your clients
Comment from : @Dbm7b5-p7y

Reflecting back is a technique I learned from required reading as an Education student back in the 80s I forget that author's name Very good book
Comment from : @ziziroberts8041

Thank you
Comment from : @vania698

Yo, doc We all have been teenagers… so ofc it makes sense … if you admit it to yourself :) don’t ya think?
Comment from : @iimv

Great video!
Comment from : @julianapurvis3461

The confidence ruler is usually stated as "why are you a 5 and not a 2?" This is because you want the person to give you reasons why they were able to change in the past
Comment from : @bearboricua

great video! thank you so much! <3 you're having such a positive impact on the world by sharing your knowledge and making the world a better, kinder,more compassionate and understanding place I have nothing but love for you and your engagement!
Comment from : @PsiloFoxVR

Your step two really does sound a lot like "how do you feel?" however That's a step I think needs more clarification as I don't that's your intent
Comment from : @MrGadfly772

Very helpful advice, the urge to just jump with advice/suggestions can be so overwhelming
Comment from : @jacquellacarpenter4751

I agree with you on reflect back and being honest about being off with what the client is communicating to me 😅 thank you for this awesome video!
Comment from : @J3Diva

Psych show ? Like Sci Show on youtube!
Comment from : @angelarredondo611

I am a volunteer at a S intervention centre, we mostly deal people on the Phone, this lecture was useful Some new things to learn, Some learnings reinforced
Comment from : @nvraman

I have a character that's a therapist and your videos help me a lot in getting into a therapist mindset in ways I don't get stuck in plot Thank you
Comment from : @Lyladagger02

07:55 "I might have hit something myself" brbrNo, no I wouldn't
Comment from : @Lahmacunmatik

Man just listen
Comment from : @sanjithestoic

I have found that therapy doesn’t teach the person to really learn about themselves meaning to take a deep dive in and except what is already there and have a little bit of self compassion through the process of change Why is it that most therapy is kind of like signing up for a lifetimemedicine versus a short-term goal of teaching the client to lean on their own spine and give them some tools, but not keep them in therapy for 15 years Maybe you could help elaborate on that
Comment from : @Rcenthusiast90

Why does this stress me out??😢😅
Comment from : @deborahespinosa7885

Chatgpt checks all the boxes imo
Comment from : @aasthasinha4161

How to listen:brRule number 1: listen
Comment from : @wanyewest

bWARNING/b brIf you do this with a covert narcissist, they will drain your energy until you snap (You are NOT a professionally paid psychologist)
Comment from : @Bat_Boy

Just found your channel Inam studying for my BA in Psychology with a transition to PTSD with those who were abducted by aliens Looking forward to this learning process
Comment from : @jackknife4547

Watch at 15x speed trust me
Comment from : @jumbolumps666

01:21 skill #1: Reflect/say back what the other person is saying to show you're listening, increase empathy, and understanding Makes sure you are hearing right and clarify what they are thinkingbr03:20 Instead "How does that make you feel?" ask how the person is experiencing the situation to better understand their emotions and thoughts, in their body or thoughts I’m not a mind readerbr05:33 validation to help show how their rxn makes sense bc of their situation help the person understand that their feelings and experiences are valid, regardless if they make sense to youbr07:06 Understand tension/complexity/ambivalence:brRecognize when someone is torn between wanting to make a change and facing barriersbrAsk what benefits they find in their current situation on both sides, how is both sides helping, how ready are you for a change on a scale from 1-10
Comment from : @annam3449

Right❤
Comment from : @ChristinaEscajeda-e1j

I don't understand the first one Can someone explain it, please?
Comment from : @TarotBoy-nv8rd

Sounds great, I would love to do thisbrSmall hair in the soupI have adhd, this is pretty much a list of things that i can't seem to do
Comment from : @Remcore020

My therapist is doing all these- 4 stars:)
Comment from : @chimbob67

I agree but can’t stand when my therapists allow long periods of silence It makes me feel inferior
Comment from : @Notguilty1

Great video and great tools being taught here I’ll be that guy and say that there are several meanings of “ambivalence” eg, there’s the meaning that is closer to “conflicted” but also the meaning that doesn’t have the “conflicted” aspect ie, an acceptance of uncertainty or paradox
Comment from : @zacmilne9423

I’m Asian and my body is weaker than other races I’d rather to be able to deliver the baby than having the government to train me
Comment from : @Simpledot00

I’m not a doctor, you make me more confused 🥹
Comment from : @hklady7351

I think with friends it needs to natural flow but that listening part…it needs to be two ways, one person can’t be the only person that gets to vent
Comment from : @acer4237

This is actually the best video I've seen regarding listening skills
Comment from : @Kesha_Sparkles

What’s new Why do we need therapy, and allow others to control your life?
Comment from : @AD-by5eg

I like it when my friends do that to me It is therapeutic to talk and the tips he is giving are designed to keep you talking
Comment from : @LilacPledge

It's 2025 and I never thought I'd see this content It helps me a lot to go through tough things I'm facing now I often invalidate other people's opinions, because I want to jump into my emotions Later I regretted it because that's not what I wanted but my mind did it, and it became a habit of mine Now I understand After learning this video, I will now start understanding people's experiences rather than listening to respond Thanks a lot
Comment from : @MrQronthe

Seriously, I don’t want my friendships to be like being in a therapy session I have friends who will tell me up front, “ I need to talk about something” In those cases, I am happy to offer my friend my complete attention and employ my listening skills But dude, this is pretty intense for social conversation
Comment from : @camilladawson9717

Harvile Hendrix, creator of IMAGO Relationship therapy, came up with the Intentional Dialogue for couples…Mattu is putting his own spin on it
Comment from : @camilladawson9717

The correct question is : how it made you feel about yourselfbrThat’s when a client can uncover the negative beliefs they created about themselves…
Comment from : @ofrapeters3952

Therapists DO NOT LISTEN Their minds are already made up and they do nothing but cause problems
Comment from : @GeorgeWallace-l1s

Experiencing is feeling , you dummo !,
Comment from : @karnakarna4490

I wish I knew all this when my kids were babies so I could have implemented it throughout their lives Unfortunately they’re adults now I know now that I may have come off as authoritative to them Poor kids Must have been so stressed
Comment from : @iamwell5654

I don’t like the how it makes you feel because nothing or no one makes us feel One of the important ahas in therapy is we control our feelings with our thoughts
Comment from : @aledamuth7215

You are so Not at all Sincere while putting things Laughing for no reason at all brWhy you asian people copies uk american accent brBad Video Not a Good Communicator
Comment from : @jyotivyas9286

You are an excellent communicator I have learned a lot just listening to this short video 😊Thanks
Comment from : @debb6054

"How does it make you feel" is actually much more important than "reflecting back" what you heard When a therapist, boss or coworker "reflects back", it is just an idiotic exercise in parroting a constructed narrative No need to repeat verbatim what you heard, you can show that you 'got it' by posing intelligent follow-up remarks In therapy, facts are less important than emotional drives
Comment from : @phd_angel

Killer Video!!!
Comment from : @rishirajmahatosd3252

👍
Comment from : @honestytheory7529

For skills should be explained in four minutes
Comment from : @eciesz

Important info and skills If only we all knew and do ❤
Comment from : @JoySibley-l4t

Is this skill useful in also listening about a persons interest or when they’re telling you about their day or something they like ? Can you do a video on how to connect with someone on something you don’t necessarily have in common ?
Comment from : @kibibi

Who cares
Comment from : @joaquin48dedios82

This is motivational interviewing
Comment from : @barbaramiller8442

how to pretend you understand
Comment from : @susanralph274

Thank you this video was extremely helpful as I operate a non profit that focuses on helping student athletes with their mental health
Comment from : @ACES_NY

I find that Gendlin's Focusing technique has revolutionized my ability to do everything you're talking about
Comment from : @theresistance1806

How does that make you feel? No how is that experience is the same thing
Comment from : @elizabethantoine9652

My family continues to say to "you don't understand" I'm thinking that if l don't agree to their process of thinking l don't understand Not validation of my thinking process or validation my needs?
Comment from : @alphadog3384

If everyone would just read the Bible we wouldn’t need psychologists!!!
Comment from : @BBarrera-k1h

I tried this listening and my wife told me to shut up
Comment from : @joejoe-lb6bw

Put words to emotions means a lot Thank you
Comment from : @nadiajones7910

You mean i could have learned this in 2019?
Comment from : @christinafisher6169

You're amazing
Comment from : @dawndid5972

When someone reflects back what I just said, it annoys me
Comment from : @bluejean-1968

Wow! Thank you!!!
Comment from : @angle3290

If I know how I feel every minute of my life, a skill that I developed through years, does it mean that I don't need therapy?
Comment from : @hermione6834

I hear so much of Motivational Interviewing😍🙌🏻
Comment from : @eleanam4835

However some practice continuous toxic invalidation and your own triggers against you in group settings?? IS THAT THERAPY OR FRAMING AND BLAMING ?
Comment from : @NovaPhi1618

1 Reflect back Just listenbr2 Ask what is that like for you? br3 Validate Helping the person understand what they are going through is validbr4 Understood the ambivalence
Comment from : @tami2595

Quite a helpful vudeo but a bit subjective We can ruke out feelings in therapy I guess it depends with whom you are dealing with Mist men are wired to process their thoughts and this Qn would be applicable but some women are emotive based and feelingd can work best with them
Comment from : @doriskendi-g4d

Thanks man!
Comment from : @trocycling1204

Thanks
Comment from : @Pastinake92

Hmmhmm, I see 😂
Comment from : @ChelleMEis

I had a fabulous therapist She never asked that question
Comment from : @AmorOfAlessi

The questions you ask as alternatives to “how does that make you feel “ are still basically,”how do you feel about——?”
Comment from : @renzo6490

Beautully said Thank you
Comment from : @francesbrown5061

Listening 2024!
Comment from : @danasdoinitwell

I already do this and people drain my energy because I'm a good listener😊😂 oh well that comes with the gift 🎁
Comment from : @SoberStateofMind

Thank you ! It was an 'Aaha' moment for me
Comment from : @diyafoundation

My entire brain is the part that wants to interrupt 😅
Comment from : @sunnygirl9691

Therapists are scam artists that want people to live in pain and fear so they can feel better about themselves and make a profit
Comment from : @CosmicAnew