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“My spouse spends too much money!” | How to get your partner to budget

Lydia Senn 11 views

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It’s about restraint and control
Comment from : @artcrytelevision

There's a difference between being an grown adult and maturity also there is no one remedy in every relationship I'm glad it worked for you
Comment from : @ericoneal9640

I’m the saver and my wife is the spender Though I make more than she does, I try to save more for our kids & our future, more than spend any on myself
Comment from : @TechGeekTXDad

We have personal money, but Mrs Bean also has my credit card 😅
Comment from : @AGoodBean

I don’t care what my spouse spends her money on I do care and am bothered by the fact that she constantly exceeds her monthly budget and seemingly has a difficult time keeping track of her spending I even have to include a “Wife’s”overspending” budget every month that she doesn’t know about in order to make up for it I’m working 6 days a week just to keep us afloat, and we have a hard time taking about money because she tends to over-correct the situation She suffers from high functioning anxiety, and whenever I try to have a conversation with her about her spending, she tries to unrealistically fix everything right away and start trying to sell stuff right in the middle of the conversation and says to not give her any money at all anymore When in reality, the correct response was supposed to be to hear me out and work out a plan together to adjust instead of just being reactionary and cancelling everything She just cannot handle the conversation for the life of her
Comment from : @darthkal-el4939

Thank you so much This video really help me as I am the spender My husband and I have been arguing for years about how I spend money and I really like the idea about personal spending budget As when we do the budget together it feels like I am kid and I am restricted to buying things
Comment from : @gernienemyles4920

Your spouse isnt a child but spends money like one
Comment from : @kieranhimself3655

I'm the saver of the 2 of us and much more responsible with budgeting and saving than he is He has no clue he's admitted that I am good a making things stretch for us and he respects that I can budget for us, however he won't give me any money at all of his to put towards savings We're trying to get out of living in his parents house due to covid, and its just getting ridiculous that he won't give me anything at all to save up He knows I don't spend anything on myself at all right now since it's imperative that we save up to leave this toxic place we are in He also acknowledges that he wants to leave too and it's not good for us to stay here He literally gives all his money to his mother and she keeps it in a safe and when he wants money he has togo through her I think being in his late30s this needs to end yesterday! His parents have never shown their children how to save or budget and are extremely manipulating on their kids I guess my question to you is how do you combat this inappropriate relationship of finances with your spouses parents? I've tried to gently tell everyone involved to give us our spaceour own savings but its fallen on deaf ears His mother is never going to let go of him of his finances and im just at a loss as what to do He won't talk to her and the times he has she has completely rejected his wishes What are your suggestions?
Comment from : @amylasher87

Are you dictating and controlling any part of your relationships
Comment from : @lilhayat

We each get discretionary money but hubby says that I need to spend some of it on myself instead of others
Comment from : @vegemitegirl1971

I needed this
Comment from : @JorgeMorales-ez5ts

My husband joked that he spends his spending money on tacos It must have been a lot of tacos Lol
Comment from : @meisudoku

my husband gets more personal money which is fine by me since he makes it & is the spender that helps us not to over spend & save which is what i enjoy
Comment from : @dayrich

Living on a Dime would say the same thing "that's a marriage problem not a money problem-get counseling"
Comment from : @PlannerMemaw

This was so helpful!! Thank you so much for sharing Lydia!
Comment from : @momilaniosullivan9756

My sister and I live together I'm the saver, she's the spender We're learning how to communicate and budget Thanks for the tip on the personal spending money! We didn't factor that into our budget, but I definitely think it will help to ease the tension ❤
Comment from : @destineeg8003

I was the spender too! After listening to Dave Ramsey, it changed my mind set I make sure to think about my purchases, and stay in our budget
Comment from : @jstrickenart6117

Love your new hairstyle/color really brings out your eyes your beautiful inside and out! Thanks for sharing ❤
Comment from : @laurarenovato7832

This video was just what I needed, as my hubby is more of the spender than what I am Thank you for always being so real & honest, it's like talking to a girlfriendbrGreetings from South Africa
Comment from : @aliciaunaryan4751

It's funny we're both Savers and Spenders in our own ways I have a tendency to over spend on everyday stuff like buying too much food or make up or whatever especially if I think I'm getting a deal and my husband tends to overspend on bowling hence why we now have a bowling sinking fund and personal spending money I don't ask him what he does with his and he doesn't ask me if I spent all of mine on beer, books, yarn and Starbucks which sometimes bmostly always/b happens
Comment from : @nikkikoz4720

I'm the spender😑 But I'm working on it I get so nervous i wantt to spend non stop i need help
Comment from : @lolitamokita8223

Some hard truths! Thank you, I wish this had been my initial approach
Comment from : @TheImperfectReader

This is such a great reminder as the saver to be respectful of my husband the spender!
Comment from : @freedominabudget

We are such much alike 😜 I’m definitely the spender and don’t you think you can tell me how to do something because I’ll just show you my way is better 😂
Comment from : @angelawix2075

The older I get more more of a saver I have become, I have the mindset of will I actually use it or is it just a want it My boyfriend on the other hand he was raised with the mentality of "it's on sale I must buy it because look how much money I saved" doesn't matter if we already have multiple of the item or even will use it He comes home sometimes multiple times a week with bags of chips and things from the grocery store when the he hasn't even opened what he bought weeks before I had to put my foot down an make a rule that he can only replace once things are used
Comment from : @cassandrasiegel-chau6645

Great infothank you for sharing
Comment from : @salliebeard1899

OkI need a reality check I'm a spender and need to be more disciplined in this area
Comment from : @trishthaden6957

I have found too, that when people don’t want to talk about money or budgeting, it can be because they have never talked about it with anyone Many people that I have witnessed having difficulty with money conversations, grew up in an environment that didn’t foster communication in that area Often, they operate on a defense mechanism to avoid looking uneducated
Comment from : @joycegodwin7796

I agree respect is the utmost, and with respect in a relationship all things are possible 👏🏼🙋🏻🤗👍🏼
Comment from : @susanvelez6534

Listening to you, as a single woman in debt, in some ways it's easier with a spouse I'm jealous Lol
Comment from : @rtdonin

I wanted to say that "Dining on a Dime" youtube page is great they have a video about marriage and separate bank accounts it gives a lot of good information and I think you might like it<3 Thank you for sharing this video!!!
Comment from : @gooberpondue5700

Ouchit’s a marriage problem You are right though
Comment from : @LaurieChistine

I'm a saver that was formerly a spender I had to switch sides out of necessity, married a worse spender than me!!
Comment from : @sarahbarker7449

oouuuffff! once again : tough but true
Comment from : @betts258

I recently found you and I love your videos!!! I am the spender (former saver) and boy am I having difficulty starting this journey!!! Thank you for making these videos I will keep you posted
Comment from : @secretheader

Great video Thanks for sharing You are awesome!
Comment from : @teresacameron3296

This video is so relevant to me right now Looking to combine households in the coming years with my fiancé (we are both separated, with kids separately) It’s a big deal whether you can talk or not about money, house, future plans! Currently working on that this video was great advice I’d love to hear more on marriage advice from you Lydia you are a rock of sense
Comment from : @ruthwhelan5191

My husband is a future planner and I hate it I AM NOT A SPENDER BUT IF WE HAVE IT SPEND it
Comment from : @audreykitzul1350

Oh, I’m the spender However, I’m also the budget maker and it gives me anxiety I budget each of us personal money but it still makes me anxious I hope that eventually goes away 🙂
Comment from : @kimberlysidor9427

We're both spenders, I'm just less of a spender than my husband Swear you were speaking to my hard-headed self! I loathe being in charge of the finances (nerd by default?), so I think I hold it against the hubs by trying to strong arm him into doing things my way (just realized how horrible I sound-yikes!) when he starts spending like a drunk rapper He has his own home inspection business (feast-or-famine pay) and I'm the steady paycheck (surg tech/nursing student) I'm going to take your advice and do the dream-building with him to show what can be accomplished once we get a firm handle on our financial future Wish me luck!
Comment from : @nrsimmons178

I would like your opinion Mrs Lydia?after all the bills/groceries/gas are paid fordo u feel $15000 a week per person would be a decent amount of money to live off of
Comment from : @ak1351

I love all your videos and they have helped more than you’ll ever know Have a blessed day!
Comment from : @amarillisreyes6602

Girl when you started with your "I don't like" around 0:45, I felt like I'd found my long lost twin And I'm also from Alabama LOL
Comment from : @GAbutterfly8211

You are 100 correct in saying that if your partner won’t discuss money that it’s a problem with the marriage, not a problem with money There turned out to be a huge problem with my marriage, which thankfully is now over
Comment from : @ajl1441

“If your husband wants to spend it on beef jerkey”really hits home lol😂
Comment from : @hdleemom101

Trying to be assertive, not the opposite was hard I was the other more than I like to remember Am I making exuses, if at times, someone wasn't honest with me about anything/everything? There were alot of hard choices and not so nice moments Do I regret alotyes; yes I do It takes two reasoning adults in a relationship, to keep it together, relating in harmony, moving together in the direction of goals & would like
Comment from : @peggyhall5363

I'm the spender, with a husband who can't say no to meyes this equals financial disasters!!!
Comment from : @letsbefriends9529

Great advice! I was the one saying “this is the budget and we both must stick to it” Budget meeting was very emotional at first It didn’t work until I lead by example and cut my spending and let him have more of a say so in the budget We have different amounts for spending money because i choose to limit myself more than he does It works After 9 months, our budget meetings are much calmer and much easier and we rarely fight or get heated about money But it took time
Comment from : @yojs17_

Thank you! I have a portion set aside for the hubster but didn't think of doing that for me I think he feels less stressed if he can have a bit of cash in his pocket and enough for an occasional golf game with our son ( using 2 for one coupons) Last year I learned with eating that , little changes really add up This year we are applying it to our debt I can't get him to give up the car payment so I changed to a 3 yr plan It will be paid off in 3 years Brings me peace to just give him that 68 yrs old and I'm still learning Thank you for the great advice!
Comment from : @nannypat6520

I am the spender! very sad I just don't make enough money to support my spending habits I have tried to change and still working on changing It has caused problems in our marriage say a prayer for me thanks for listening
Comment from : @chrmar406

"It's a communication problem, not a money problem" That's so true 👍🏼
Comment from : @ameerahalgohary

I got my husband onboard by saying “don’t you want to retire early? “
Comment from : @jmiller8678

I still have a tough time with what my husband decides to spends his personal money on but I'm trying to work on it 😂
Comment from : @amberwright5734

I needed to hear this today! I have been chafing at my husband spendinv on books I go to the library, he buys books at Walmart But, he does nof smoke or drink so I need to leave him alone about the books
Comment from : @donnajones9006

Lydia, can I ask how much you keep in your 3-6 month emergency fund? How do you plan to pay for your next vehicle? Your next vacation, how do you save for it? Does your husband plan to quit his 9 to 5 to help you with your channel? Does your spouse do company match on 401k? Congrats on staying home with your babies!
Comment from : @janefromthecountry1820

My husband gets more personal money than me I agree that’s the only way for us it would work
Comment from : @hansaldi

Thank God your husband had the mindset he had in showing you how your goals aren't going to be met if you didn't get it of debt It shows he is in tune with you Love it
Comment from : @christenford3864

Little by little we figure things out Communication is critical and adjustments need to be made as we progress through this "journey" We used to get the same amount of "spending cash" but we found that hubby needed more than I did and we had to adjust that a few times to get it right
Comment from : @tinapospeshil5059

Me and hubby are complete opposites He’s the spender and lives for now He’s willing to work till the day he dies to have new cars, bikes, toys I’m the saver and would rather live simply now to enjoy retirement We’ve been together over 20 years and come to the conclusion we can’t change each other Paying off debt is an extremely slow process because of this but it can still happen 👍🏻
Comment from : @janicekrol8320

I handle our finances, hubby doesn't want to I can talk to him about it, but he doesn't want to be hands on He gets his weekly money and he's happy that way
Comment from : @grannyprepper7788

I am the reformed spender Finally on the same page Thank you!
Comment from : @rebeccablashock3829

My husband and I are both spenders but are really working on budgeting together We are hoping to make a budget that will help us to get out of debt
Comment from : @reginaalear

My wife is a spender
Comment from : @spike3346

Good Morning Lydia! Hubby and I are frugal together I am a reformed spender
Comment from : @laurieb2296

Since you read all of the comments, just wanted to say - good morning! Thank you for your time and for sharing your story and knowledge!
Comment from : @bethsherman3202

Good advice! I really like this video My husband and I are both savers, but he out saves me, lol I'm thankful we are on the same page with our finances, and with life We've been married 30 years now! and have 6 kids <3
Comment from : @LorriE

Love this video I am the spender AND the nerd My husband is the saver but he wants me to have anything and everything I want It’s a struggle sometimes to stay n track with our budget This year has been the best yet though It’s definitely a constant work in progress
Comment from : @jennerationcreations5982