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How A Messed Up Childhood Affects You In Adulthood

The School of Life 1 views

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I suppose it comes down to ones childhood past and how bad things were for them
Comment from : @user-lau816

This guy pronounced the word “adult” wrong
Comment from : @user-lau816

I have struggled to do mental health work for years yet failed to see this Thank you This will help the work and me brbrWhy don't we teach this in schools? – it's more helpful than algebra, for example And we could teach it ina similar way:br5, multiplied by what number, becomes 55? brA child, harmed by what type of unbearable experience, will become excessively timid?brbrWe could memorize the equations, hear stories showing them, look for them in movie characters, act them out in plays, and go back to them each year so we can remember them for the rest of our lives brbrWe learn about wars and the layers of the Earth and parts of the cell These are our human histories, our layers and parts – our emotional geometry
Comment from : @beemaningi

Comment from : @TheCuong9999

Everyone needs years of Jungian therapy before having children and we would have a utopia but the government have a vested interest in maintains the status quo
Comment from : @carl8150

In short, it affects us 100
Comment from : @NeroUnderground

This is my favorite hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
Comment from : @zupperdapupper3888

Litle hump😮
Comment from : @polianasantos3471

I write down a list of what wasn’t normal or how I felt through out my childhood In a dissociative state I can’t remember or don’t want to recall my early childhood and early teens Dissociating is what helps me at work recently I’m tired of being here, but don’t want to die
Comment from : @Octoberdoomster1

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Comment from : @shubhashrichoudhury7266

It takes a village to raise a child Hardly anyone is raised by a "village" in the West
Comment from : @mikebowman9844

in my case ive experienced secondhand abuse , or bystander experience I was not abused directly by own father but i witness the abuse of my mother and brother growing up thus from young my brain was rewired to survive by being obedient and staying quiet as i scare to become next victim, and i have been like that since start of my puberty till adulthood which leads to my poor self esteem and more specifically bpd I suspect that i might have autism as well Now i dont know how to interact as i anticipate all interaction as inviting danger or hatred or frown upon thus self sabotaging myself even before engaging Ive just started therapy but its only been a year Ive learnt a lot from this year that i realized that the world that suppose to save u from the world , is the one that ive felt peace without staying in I truly wish everyone could have a peace and healed even that may that a life time Its a process and who knows maybe our purpose in life is to find ourselve or recreate ourselve again❤
Comment from : @ivy5645

Whoever reads this that grew up from abusive home and have a traumatic past, you deserve to let go and you deserve better dont be like them, end the cycle, wish for the best to your family that caused you pain, forgive them, there's no other way Let go, you deserve better You don't live in the past anymore
Comment from : @mitfreude

What about when you’re abused and tortured with the sole purpose to make your life hell by someone who’s not even related to you for 16 years since you were born
Comment from : @oddfuture42O

I didn't remember this video being THAT accurate A masterpiece
Comment from : @nietzschessfan5040

Hugstoeveryoneitoowasabusedaskiditistheworstfeelingintheworld
Comment from : @Lisa-sz8ms

One thing is for sure we must forgive our parents as our children must forgive us There is no such thing as a perfect parent but there is little doubt that some parents are vastly better than many The key to great parenting is surely heaps of love and encouragement to achieve a child's best potential Perhaps to also teach Confucian ethics of virtuous living, love of knowledge, respect of elders and good manners to all
Comment from : @dougspray7160

The School Of Life is depressing Realistic in description but useless in prescription, for what to do about your childhood And I really get pissed off when they tell you that the solution comes through a loving, restorative relationship Yup, there's a line at your front door of people that want to help you School Of Life tells it like it was, therefore how it is now But that's all You're damaged and will remain the person you became in response to the damage
Comment from : @VMorgenthaler-yp6yz

Brilliant video ❤
Comment from : @slimshany4602

I’m so confused
Comment from : @FroogyMcDoogy

My mother married a worthless alcoholic, thanks for the chaos!!
Comment from : @Christophernorbits

I love Alain's voice - I could listen to him talk and talk and talk How true this video is (sadly)
Comment from : @EdelweisSusie

6:12
Comment from : @GodsProperty365

My parents ruined me They kept me from dating and made friendship nearly impossible
Comment from : @PeterParker-ff7ub

I honestly would rather believe that life is a simulation, than to believe you have one life that you didn't choose and your entire life is literally pre-determined by infancy
Comment from : @Tarazara-42775

Segunda vez que ve
Comment from : @macherfarfan1435

Past will never define me Rise up in spite of everything
Comment from : @backupschmliff1156

Thank you so much for this
Comment from : @salmaelsenbawy6526

My parents were far from flawless but the most damage was done by my relentlessly aggressive and mentally unstable elder brother I learned to never say "no" or to cause a fuss because if I did, my wishes were never respected and ultimately he'd turn to violence if my "no" was too unconditional
Comment from : @randomnumbers84269

Run away from lovers who are too kind to us😢
Comment from : @Lazy-bliss

Problem with "leaving home" is that it was during development sure you can overcome alot of mental scars, but some are just eternal
Comment from : @styxzero1675

this is so sad
Comment from : @voidsword8095

I'm almost 54 and even though I've known for a long time that my depression & anxiety (diagnosed 2005) and Borderline Personality Disorder (diagnosed 2020) are largely due to my childhood & my parents, I'm only just starting to learn about ACEs and how & why those experiences have affected me growing up brI'm always trying to learn more about mental health, to try to better understand myselfbrThis video has explained me EXACTLY to a tee! Thank you! I've just subscribed and will definitely be watching more of your videos and following you on Facebook 🥺😢💕🙏
Comment from : @MaritaBird

All of this just ouch
Comment from : @kristen1810

There is so so so much content here, can I get a transcription???
Comment from : @Computerpartart

"dare to leave home" that last line sums it up Leaving home requires a lot of self-reflecting and analysis Take an inventory of your parents behaviors, decide what you want to keep for yourself and let go of the things you don't want anymore This concept is also found in the Bible in Genesis when the marriage of Adam and Eve is described and in Paul's apistle when he quotes it: "this is why it is said, a man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife" The reason this practice is much more effective in a marriage relationship is that an outside perspective from a spouse is infinitely more capable of observing and describing your words and actions than you are Having a masculine character and a feminine character perform this "leaving home" act together in a marriage covenant is the most beautiful thing you can experience as a human being
Comment from : @michaelborio956

I wish there was a tiny lil fix-it man, or woman, that could go into my mind and fix my head
Comment from : @SofiUk0319

It's about time that childhood abuse was made a serious crime! I'm still suffering the consequences of an evil mother at 64!
Comment from : @g1fcg

I keep telling myself it's not my fault but still can't seem to believe myself 🥺
Comment from : @1stBarbieAssassin

I’ve never been able to trust anyone enough to talk about my childhood, I’ve bottled it up for so long now but I’m making sure I never cave into sadness I will ignore my brain and try as hard as I can to think logically
Comment from : @Hexator_

This spoke to me Thank you for making this “Dare to leave home” likely one of the toughest things to do when it’s what you’re aware of
Comment from : @8randomprettysecret8

Was so good when my Dad died When mum goes I'll be relieved
Comment from : @rosbifle413

the last bit fits me to a T I've been watching these videos to better help me identify my mental/emotional issues that bneed/b to be addressed in order for me to maybe figure out better solutions into how I want to continue forward with my life It will be challenging, but humans are a challenge to begin with :) an acceptable one
Comment from : @Meisery_here_

Can someone recommend a book for development psychology which covers all these topics? (Excluding school of Life book)
Comment from : @sakshambhatia9273

👍👍 Thanks very much for the video
Comment from : @paulmiller6647

Mike and the Mechanics, In the Living Years Absolutely GREAT song!brEvery generation, blames the one before Life happens Our job is to somehow heal and learn to forgive
Comment from : @noway905

Group virtual hug to you all I hope you have someone to talk to
Comment from : @garnetbelik4190

I blame school for all of this
Comment from : @ninjapirate123

One of the best things a child can do is accept that their parents are not righteous gods, and in fact may be the complete opposite Until I fully extricated both of my parents from my life and began to see myself as the orphan I have always been I was unable to begin to heal The volume and depth of the damage they did to both my sister and I is staggering As a parent I realised I had ZERO respect for either my mother or father and they were never going to do anything to become worthy of my respect The two lessons I learned from them were 1 That the best they would ever be is a bad example I should use to determine what NOT to do And 2 That at no point in my entire existence would either of them have ever been willing to sacrifice themselves for me That damages a child beyond belief and it is something my own children will never know
Comment from : @Enjoymentboy

Good god his voice gets old after a while
Comment from : @littlethuggie

My dad molested me, mother sold me, gave me drugs I do not relate to this weak mindset I put it behind me, I have healthy children People are so weak You don't have to figure out YOUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD just move on and grow the hell up You are okay
Comment from : @show_me_your_kitties

Who wants to be a parent in this wretched world
Comment from : @bradleyleacock3381

Is this you, with respect to your analysis? Well?
Comment from : @martinsapsitis4292

After dating a chick from a broken family and dysfunctional one, never fucking again The emotional abuse was not worth it
Comment from : @shoheithemoney720

Yep, I knewmy mom effed me up
Comment from : @22rawraw

Why must we all suffer because of our parents… no child asks to be brought into this world and yet so much is expected of us Some people should really never been allowed to parent Fml
Comment from : @martareitmajer

Last twenty seconds really hit me ❤😢
Comment from : @kuruptflip21

Tough shit Get over it
Comment from : @staylofordo7111

So if bad things happened to me it's better I didn't existed It's true Why suffer Why not someone come and end me
Comment from : @Joel-pg4yi

Postpartum when I was 3 brMajor car wreck, in the hospital for 3 months brWhen I was 4 brBurnt with boiling water At 45, handle broke off pitcherbrBankruptcy at 7brSevere depression from 2 years I was 9brMy dear ol mom put us through the meat grinder At 15 pop’s peeled off and I went Bi -Polar at 19brThe fun since is too much to explain I’m retired now and gonna milk it out for every I got Screw the past…brLet’s Party DUDEbrTake your meds brTake care of yourself brFind peace within andbrLETS PARTY DUDE
Comment from : @IMEMINE

I am at my mid 30s and I do not feel the need to procreate because of the harsh environment I was exposed to growing up I fear that I will become my father or my mother if I become a parent and I do not want to pass any generational trauma to my offsprings I want to be responsible to my own wounds and my own healing and bringing a child to this world full of suffering and hate is daunting Even if I convince myself that I will not be like them, at some point, I might be I do not want to take any chances because in the end, I do not want to hate myself the way I hated them Their abuse dies with me
Comment from : @jaegrmeister

Not abused by parents, just raised by inept parents I was told I read too much I was threatened with Military School, with incarceration as "recalcitrant" which in Illinois is a way to dump kids on the state From age 7 to 16, never spent 16 months in one place or school; not because of poverty but because of career oriented parent following the next promotion It became difficult (even to this day) to form friendships or long term relationships I grew up as a very bright but seemingly elitist adult who is happy to be a very introverted person with poor social skills The upside is that I did everything I could to not impose my childhood on my children who are both bold, curious and socially adept And the both have good table manners and don't eat sweets
Comment from : @artfrontgalleries1818

People look down on me Say things like "get over it" They don't realize they got a foundation for life like made of solid cement, with positive support their whole lives People like us have a foundation made of sand
Comment from : @jamezbrian4135

I wasn't yelling at them and did not lay hands on them, but I did get mad at a lot of things like issues working on cars I have mental illness diagnosed from 100s of hours of psych V A appointments I coached them many times, most travel We went on vacations We bought the kids things we could afford Anyway my many explosions eventually got to all of them and my wife divorced me after 20 years of marriage Like I said I would tell them I am not yelling at you Oh well, no quarter for me and my mental illness I am pretty much worse than ever I am glad they are happy BTW, I was beat as a kid (beyond the so called swat on the bottom) I mean hit like a I was a man Neglected, saw drug use, sales, abuse Was abandoned at times You get the picture Served in the USMC, and in a war I broke the cycle of abuse on a lot of things Now I stand alone, seen as a freak or a loser, or both I am working on starting new with the kids I barely see them, which kills me I stand alone
Comment from : @jamezbrian4135

But how to leave those early difficult year? You did the diagnostic in the video but you didn't give prescription & how to utilise the prescription
Comment from : @shahintdm3653

“The character traits and mentalities that were formed in response to one or two central actors of childhood become our habitual templates for interpreting anyone For exemple the always jockey and slightly manic way of being that we evolved so as to keep a depressed, listless mother engaged becomes our second nature Even when she’s long gone, we remain people who need to shine at every meeting, who require a partner to be continually focused on us and who cannot listen to negative or dispiriting information of any kind We are “living the wide open présent through the narrow drama of the past We suffer because we are, at huge cost, too loyal to the early difficult years We should when we can, dare to leave home”brHow many divorces, anger and pain could have been avoided if these simple things were taught to adult men and women?
Comment from : @bobbyjeangayheart360

😢
Comment from : @ianrp7246

Overcontrolling children can make them feel as if they r thieves, it also creates othr negative emotions
Comment from : @HomeFrendsten

Parents should watch such videos and learn to b good parents,
Comment from : @HomeFrendsten

I barely remember my childhood It's like a dream that you forget about throughout the day until you have no idea about it Idk if I had a bad childhood, I don't remember having one
Comment from : @MountainManCurt

I can’t control anything beyond what I can control I’ve done everything I can, and I’m not giving up
Comment from : @williamalmeida4166

You are right my Ex hurt from her past I just wanted to Love her it was very hard I feel really bad she over 50years old I pray one day she get some help
Comment from : @micr845

There's nothing mysterious in having a child, a mystery is in how to make him unwild brTake care of children! brEverything comes back in multiple, various forms especially today, we live in an even more complex world
Comment from : @bebe8842

Growing up I had a mother that left us, my dad was more interested in women than raising a child I wore glasses and was made fun of It took a huge toll on me and in my thirties I started having panic attacks I wasn't good enough, I was gonna fail, I can't do this or that Folks, get some help I lived a long time thinking nobody cared about me I wasn't worthy of love It's a cliche but you have to learn to like yourself or you will never believe someone's love to you is real
Comment from : @theknowitall4090

Story of my life, it made me make mistakes as a teeneagers as well as young adults years Therefore , i got the help i needed and things got better ☺️
Comment from : @skyhigh4815

Recently I've realized that my childhood trauma affects me so much I've never fit in with others, was always afraid of physical contact and was scared to voice my own opinion because I'd be rejected brI started reading self-help books but it's so hard to break through the broken identity and fix my terrible mental health I want to love myself more but the intrusive thoughts that I'm useless and the comparisons always come to mind, it's so draining
Comment from : @bebygorille9212

Fantastically astute👏👏
Comment from : @esterhudson5104

Can't underestimate the destructive forces from older siblings either I too was attacked emotionally by "Big Brother" before I had the maturity to resistresulting in "NO MOJO"
Comment from : @joemexico7969

Cheese and crackers this is helping me understand a lot about myself
Comment from : @theonejokeking3191

I have trust issues so it makes it harder for me to form relationships with anyone I suffer from clinical depression and I’m emotionally numb I am the black sheep of my dysfunctional family I keep everything to myself and don’t share accomplishments since my family doesn’t care and only want money
Comment from : @VampireJaku

totally excellent b*****/b
Comment from : @Lambert7785

I have CPTSD and have no desire whatsoever for marriage or a family I have absolutely no understanding or need for it I don't say this proudly but as an example of what can happen to someone Take care
Comment from : @chrislim7976