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My Mom Keeps Asking Me for Money

The Dr. John Delony Show 50 views

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The son beat her?? Anybody know why? I mean I have guesses but
Comment from : @EUSA1776

Move the mom out to low income housing
Comment from : @NM-wd7pl

I’m kinda seeing why her brother became a psycho and broke here kneecaps like a gangster getting his money back Girl said she has a high ACE score…so all of her siblings do And that’s her mom’s fault brbrOh and from Ohio, too? Yeah…it’s all fleshing out
Comment from : @basicallyno1722

Im sorry but i could never stress my two boys out like that This is why it is important to be financially responsible Not only do you suffer but people around have to suffer for you bad choice in life I never want my childrens wealth to go backwards Because that suff adds up
Comment from : @calebhenderson6507

Dr John, the epilepsy may be related to emotional trauma and be PNES Her diagnosis and treatment may need to be refined and focused on PTDS
Comment from : @momkatmax

Sorry mom I’m taped out! My family and In-laws never asked so we were saved from that situation
Comment from : @ClayAllison-y3r

I moved to Thailand problem solved lmao
Comment from : @mdaniels6311

This was our past We were unable to pay for fertility treatment because my MiL was draining us every month She used my husbands half sister as leverage to get money Every month She was just like this woman mom She wouldn’t control her spending We later found out she and her husband were gambling everything they had plenty of income she wanted more She wanted to spend our money We restricted things once his sister was 18 and finally cut her off completely She is completely self centered and cares only about her needs We were only able to have kids when I was 36 because we had cut off a lot of the support when my SiL turned 19
Comment from : @BusArch42

From experience, it should not be surprising if these "mothers" have stable income flows Whether that's from disability, social security, a retirement plan, or a pension They may also have a significant amount in some unknown account they inherited or saved They will chronically cry poor while financially demolishing their own children Real-life example: a mother lived until about 90 years old, cried poor her whole life, let her children pay her OOP expenses for assisted living during her final days, passed away, and was found to have approximately $1MILLION in the bank (her will was surprisingly generous to all her family members) But I can't help but wonder if one sibling fronted more/all of the care she required and got screwed (and my idea of screwed is not solely financial, but the stress of coordinating finances with family members that may not be on the same page/willing to paying OOP for her)
Comment from : @JesSims102

Alot of people move far far away because of their mother
Comment from : @BlakJakk

The mother needs to be told NO! If the daughter died, what would mom do? This poor girl has tried and moms not helping
Comment from : @tonideveraux8484

Picking up bills still enables a manipulator
Comment from : @JanetFrisby-wl6zb

On the other side of her mom is broke think about this She is supposed to spend a life of Squalor, not having any experiencesbrbrSo yeah, she splurged a little bit that she had to go on a concertbrbrOtherwise, how many years of her not doing anything before she dies
Comment from : @1Andrea

Just so we're clear: I'm a parent, I have 5 boys, if you ask your kids for money instead of earning it yourself, you are trash
Comment from : @katherinetomasello3661

difficult situation with a manipulative person Offer to help her make a budget, check in with her monthly but be firm not giving in after 90 days as john suggested Find a church and a mentor
Comment from : @MyDarlin1

Hard T-shirt Love EPMD
Comment from : @AKibre-h1o

No one is ready for the discussion about the terrible moms some people have The children are always on the receiving end of scrutiny…THE TRUTH IS NO ONE WANTS TO CUT OFF A GOOD MOM IF YOU HAVE BEEN CUTOFF, YOU WERE TOXIC
Comment from : @ciaogiannina

She should help her mom appeal her property taxes and some people on low income barely pay anything Im sure it's too late for this bill but not nect year
Comment from : @anniealexander9616

I'm going through the same thing right now its so exhausting and depressing I wish I can just give up on them and cut ties with them
Comment from : @andriafernando9624

I think this ladies husband must be a saint, they’re paying a couple of her mums bills and by the sound of it are therefore also supporting an abusive brother and a sponging sister!!!! Wow It’d be a hard NO from me
Comment from : @adms007

My mom does this and she spends without any concerns She’s actually irresponsible and my dad has spoiled her and she doesn’t care about spending all this money and only works part time for over 30 years but yells at me to work more even tho I worked full time as a nurse for 5 years and now work part time del32 hours/del cuz I can I’m burnt out She is a witch
Comment from : @Sarah-bn1hg

This kind of parents create resentment in children and lose respect from children You could hear her voice shaking I used to be in the same situation 😢
Comment from : @-optimist-2697

Generational trauma and codependence If she and her husband are going to give her money for property taxes or home repairs, the daughter's name needs to be on the title to the house Or her old lady can sell the house and rent a room
Comment from : @wendybryan6071

Why would you say that I will pay your bills NOOOOO
Comment from : @katinafrancis7643

Frankly, I am a little disappointed with Dr John's response Why doesn't he ask what her husband's role or feedback here?? Does he know what is going on? Her husband is more important than her mother and a key player here Why is he left out? brbrHow long is this going on? Why is her Aces score so very low? Because of her Mother ? Is the mother is a self centered, selfish, master manipulator who preys on her daughter because she knows her daughter is vulnerable? If this is a TOXIC situation maybe she needs flight until she is strong enough to handle this A separation period of perhaps six months to a year maybe very helpful here I agree maybe the stress is affecting her fertility! brbrWhy isn't her sister doing much more? A clone of her mother? Is she part of the problem? Why can't the mother do some part time work? SSDI beneficiaries can earn up to $1,550 per month ($2,590 for blind workers) without losing benefits brbrHe barely touched on these key issues I am a fan of Dr John but his response missed the mark here
Comment from : @mrd7776

Say NO
Comment from : @bevanbuckwheatshea5520

She can pay her taxes monthly Some countys have tax assistance for elderly, lowering them or paying them
Comment from : @pearlbubbles6885

If she can go to a concert, there are thousands of jobs that she can do
Comment from : @donnasearch1

This is me to a T, but with my dad So grateful for this caller being on the show
Comment from : @caitlin8160

The daughter living there not paying rent should be paying the property taxes
Comment from : @kayciable

I’m on disability I’ve never asked my kids for a dime This caller needs to just say no and move on
Comment from : @catherinewilke5583

The mom mentioned property tax to her daughter, which means she owns a house Why doesn’t she sell the house and buy a small condo instead? This would solve her problems Even the average cost of utilities for a condo is lower than the average cost of utilities for a house In all cases, she should budget, stick to her budget, and stop asking her daughter for money
Comment from : @mahamehanna9826

And baby sister is in that mix Don't really know if she is not doing things to cause mom to call and ask for money I really think there is more to the sister
Comment from : @tonamiller8298

She owns a housesell it
Comment from : @bettyhirsch-klein1701

“Being on the other side of this is amazing”, so much hope about healing in just one sentence Thank you, Doc
Comment from : @vinucete

I’m in the same situation My mom is on disability and “never has any money” yet she has continued to smoke cigarettes for over 40 years Now she’s wanting a newer car and expects her two children to buy it brI already pay her cell phone bill and my brother does tons of things for her (mows her yard, fixes things that break,etc) but it’s never enough She always wants more and more We tell her we will help her more financially if she will show us her statements but she won’t agree to that
Comment from : @AshleySmith-ik2ec

I didn't hear enough about the sister that lives mom, except the suggestion that sister needs to pay rent I was thinking what???brWhat is up with that?
Comment from : @DaleEGrant

This is very common for Filipino families Lol my dad used to ask lots of money for everything
Comment from : @adrian3747_

Abusive moms Emotionally abusive moms Sad
Comment from : @DevHazy

Warmest hugs Kaylyn You will be alright I’d love to be your friend I’m really sorry for you You seem like you are a great girl, very caring and kind
Comment from : @fire12731

John, how is being mom’s banker any different than a girlfriend? Or wife? The all take from my wallet Am I getting my money’s worth from her expense?
Comment from : @2023Red

You don’t ‘got to’ do anything Ie you don’t have to have a maternal figure or a paternal figure in your life to do anything My parents never had anything useful to say about anything You can figure things out on your own
Comment from : @universaltruth2025

Your failure to plan is not my emergency 😢
Comment from : @CountChronicle

The property taxes are not an unexpected or emergency expense She knew that bill was coming but bought concert tickets
Comment from : @RaeKennedy77

What about the sister who lives with her mom? Why is this particularly sibling? Always have to come up with the money
Comment from : @kathleenbueter1272

The sister that lives w/the mom needs to pull her weight
Comment from : @sheneathahollowell2750

OMG, sounds just like a friend of mine, always hitting up her brother for money while she sits at home complaining She feels completely entitled to his money
Comment from : @flashgordon6510

If All your doing is complaining about how much you help your Mom just say NO it's only 2 Letters
Comment from : @kathygarcia4012

Time for mom to figure out how to manage her money I get the price for fertility prices My son was born with help and it took multiple rounds This is not the time to help mom Save your money You will never give enough to her She will turn around and keep asking for more
Comment from : @user-sr8mf2vg9p

It’s absolutely disgusting that family and friends put their family members through this when one becomes wealthy or is the only one with some source of income They literally drag that person down with them Especially the parents, your kids owe you NOTHING They didn’t ask you to bring them here, you brought him here against their will, therefore you are OBLIGATED to take care of them It is your JOB to provide for them and it is your job to set them up for success when they move out Why would you murder your own child’s future just because you were irresponsible You’re supposed to be the one giving THEM money if they’re struggling, not the other way around YOU support your kids How dare you think they’re suppose to “pay” you back, for doing something that you were supposed to dobrIt’s so disgusting and disgraceful, yet so many families think this is ok brThis needs to be talked about WAY more
Comment from : @terellkid1

Guilt should only be reserved for people who did something wrong Not being able or even wanting to give money to irresponsible people is not wrong Your money is yours to do as you see fit
Comment from : @TheRachag

It is amazing how many people are playing lotto, smoking, drinking - at the end of the month they complain they don't have any money to pay the rent No one should be on disability No One
Comment from : @Wall2000x

The mom just wants handouts to continue her irresponsible behavior but doesn't want to sacrifice and do without!!! My experience has always been that these are the type of people that end up stealing and shoplifting!!!
Comment from : @sharoncline4187

Wow this sounds like my mother
Comment from : @lanisolfire5692

It is not always easy to find a job with better pay Nobody should need to work 2 or 3 jobs
Comment from : @marielundstrom7694

This one hit very hard Same question from her, give me this, give me that Living above her own means, also on 'disability' She didn't give a hoot that we just we bought a home, have our kids When I asked if she had no qualms taking resources away from her grandkids, she answered no, pay my bills Every time the phone rang, it gave me hart palpitations The rest of the family (her own sisters) and I went no contact and we all feel so much better Still hurts, but she'll never be the mother I would need, someone to call And I'm starting to be okay with that brIt's sad to see so many others are going through the same thing Take heart, it gets better!
Comment from : @sarademoor

I’m so glad to read these comments and know I’m not alone on this subject Despite the fact that I help pay rent, groceries and bills it’s still not enough for my mom to even say thank you I get she wants me to give her the money (so she can hoard some of it and ask my brother for more) but the fact you do things for this woman is never enough is what’s really hurts me emotionally At this point I give up ill just do what I can and move on with my life
Comment from : @edercortes1960

I’m going through the same thing guys The problem with this is not that simple You feel like sh*t rejecting
Comment from : @WhatYourGrandpaSays

We started our sons life 21 years ago with a budget and a plan for his success and for our future, so we stablelize our son and can take care of parents as they get elderly Also, Katelyn, as a retired nurse, if you read this, please know that conceiving is harder when your body is in distress and I can hear the stress in your voice We were blessed with our son when we stopped trying we took a year off treatments and doctors and timed copulation and planning We drank wine on a weekend and wow, suprise baby I pray that for you Your parents are not your responsibility
Comment from : @missamanda2703

All these suggestions for solutions usually don't work in the end People just don't want to change
Comment from : @Europa1749

John see what county services she can utilize
Comment from : @vickimerritt2832

People who emigrate here to have a better life typically send the bulk of their income to their families back home Americans are different It’s me, me, me
Comment from : @margo3367

Video is dull
Comment from : @AtticTapes14

I would require the mother to hand over power of attorney at this point if she will continue to need support
Comment from : @northrose4344

As far as the property taxes go, mom should be able to set up a payment plan with the county I had to do that with my parents who are both disabled They have a monthly payment they can afford I know the point here is the caller's mother is being selfish, just giving a suggestion for what works for my parents
Comment from : @mistermanman

My mom stopped speaking to me bc of this very thing I finally had enough, I was 30 newlywed with a new mortgage and I just couldn’t keep funding her bad choices She asked me for $3K to buy a car and I told her NO She didn’t speak to me for 3-4 years
Comment from : @11nica5

This plus the comments is so sad My mum is amazing and has supported me my whole life as a single parent on low income I'm now also a single mum on low income but I'm good at budgeting and I'm working hard to get some more finances in My mum is in bad financial state through minimal fault of her own and I feel so happy that I can now offer her a bit of financial support We have a loving and supportive relationship I'm so thankful and I'm so sorry for all of those who don't have that
Comment from : @RuthT90

I went through this for nearly forty years I could not say no as my ex and I were well off I thought why does it hurt we can afford it I would pay all their bills and even bought a house for them to live in This was toxic to my marriage and as the years went in my father demanded more and more cause we were wealthy apparently He was on a disability pension I begged my four siblings to help me and to save my marriage, but no they chose their marriages I am now divorced and in therapy so I understand a lot more from ex’s point of view When my ex left me I asked them to leave the house I had purchased for them to live in They moved in to government housing with my sister brI learnt too late to put myself and my little family first FYI this was not reason he left but definitely added to toxic problems 😢🇦🇺🙏🏼
Comment from : @julieaustin4684

Now a days a lot of young people that are done with school & working live with their parents And they do pitch in financially since they all live under one roof
Comment from : @MikaComments

I had to tell my mom no to money and put my family first (married with a one year old) It’s not easy but it was necessary
Comment from : @KoltenF

All Ik is it’s best just to keep your distance and cease communication for awhile in a situation like this
Comment from : @aniki1934

I'm going to warn you right now stop helping your mombrMy mom is worse than your mom because for a long time I bent over backwards accommodating my mother's every request and she was lying to people about me, saying I was abusing herbrMothers like her use every trick in the book to try and not do anythingbrYou are her retirement plan, nothing more
Comment from : @buttcheeksmcgee4272

Someone needs to take over her bills and give her an allowance
Comment from : @KidCity1985

maybe a useless comment, but that EPMD shirt is DOPE
Comment from : @ovx1

We just went through this with my mother in law I had to have my pastor to call out my husband for enabling his mother bad behavior It took me 8 years to confront her and put her in her place She disrespected me in my own home, wants money from his kids, she haven’t worked in 10 years and wants to live a queen, and meddling in every one business This is not a way to honor and help parents, but for the Grace of God we put her in her place and she left Boundaries are important, don’t let anyone including your own parent disrespect your life
Comment from : @adahaydeeliriano4279

Mothers can make children feel guilty for being born unless they do everything the mother demands You have to build a backbone Don’t sacrifice your life for your mother Your mother is responsible for her life Let her get on with it I understand I have been there You can make the leap from crippling guilt to true independence Just have to do it
Comment from : @jenniferbowerman2573

Wow! Dr John is amazing - and cute!
Comment from : @HelloNowGirl

This is a little detail, but the caller said she had a spouse It doesn't mean she has a husband John said "husband" several times And we're not sure if she's married to a man I think she would've said "husband" if that's the case She said "spouse" - which is ambiguous John, just be careful and not assume I know it rolls off the tongue, but it was cringe that you kept saying "husband" The caller may not even be queer, but it was noticeable that she used spouse when she could've easily said husband and she didn't so we can't assume she has a "husband"
Comment from : @uscitizen3252

06:40: "I would rather go to a concert than have grandchildren"
Comment from : @MariaInIowa

It is sad about your mom but you and your husband come first Your future kids come ahead of her
Comment from : @KS-cl8br

I have no chill If I were the caller, every time my mom would ask me for money, I’d tell her straight up that NOPE can’t give you money, because our desire for children is more important than your desire to spend your money however you want Remind her of it every single time
Comment from : @mle011