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how to tell your family no Christmas presents this year

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Most of my immediate family text a "thank you" for gifts sent to them (none of us live near each other, so there's no dinner celebration together or anything) I'm fine with the text because the gift is acknowledged Sometimes they add that they liked it, etc But one member, my sibling's child, never thanks me (or my mother, the grandmother) This adult child never thanks anyone for gifts This person was not taught this My sibling and my mother have come to 'accept' this I believe this is dysfunctional, like the pink elephant in the room After this year, with NO thank you at all, not even a text, I've decided no gifts A card, perhaps for the occasion, but no gift, no money only a card Amen
Comment from : @user-rg1yt8wx2l

YES!!! We’re not kids we can get things for ourselves that we need
Comment from : @Just_my_opinion_23

I don’t gift give on Christmas I could spend a good amount of money I don’t even get a card! Screw that
Comment from : @Albert-f5s

I also don’t wanna contribute to the massive consumerism and commercialism A gift becomes meaningless Sadly I told my family I don’t do Xmas and don’t want gifts and won’t give any and they still get me gifts and expect it and get mad at me for not giving them gifts I TOLD YOU!! Your problem if you don’t believe me
Comment from : @FransceneJK98

I needed to hear this this morning at 4:15am Hi Daniel, this year for Christmas 🎄 I am spending it with my two Senior Rescue Dogs Chihuahuas “General & Gus Gus”…just the three of us You see I lost my husband to suicide on New Year’s Day this year (Jan 1, ‘24) And I have decided to make it a no family holiday because both of my parents are no longer here on earth 🌎 and ever since childhood I never had any relationships with my two brothers…in fact after our parents passed away both of my brothers decided that we three should separate from each other’s lives and go our separate ways…and you know what…I was a bit confused about this one but in the long run it is what it is…and Daniel what you said in your conclusion…I accept your ❤️…and I want to say to you Daniel…Love you ❤too! May you and your loved 🥰 ones as well as your people have a fabulous and fantastic Holiday 2024 Season ❤🎉and a Healthy and Prosperous Life ahead!!!!
Comment from : @Yearofthebunny63

Personally I think the thing that makes me upset about the excess of gifts I keep saying I want to be just donations to charity or those in need is that it will be ignored I travel 16 hrs with my family to see our extended family in northern USA, and the fact is that we show our love BY SHOWING UP AT ALL (the most expensive gift we can give honestly, and they never visit us down south) the grandparents have visited, but still refuse to stop the gifts (I hate especially as being a twin means THE SAME SHIT MATCHING- and sometimes the grandmother will give our 6 year younger cousin MATCHING STUFF WITH US- I am now 21 and still get matching shit for goodness sake’s) I also am autistic, and that apparently autistic people sometimes have issues with the whole gift opening and giving and receiving thing is so true to me I was alright as a kid when I had not as much stuff, but now I have SOOOO MUCH- it is not a good gift if the thing was just giving for giving sake and not caring about the person receiving the gift and their wants/needs I am currently dealing with the problem of wanting to change the infantilizing way of treating me as a child or a clone of my twin Our male cousins never get the same things and it shows a huge issue in that regard
Comment from : @ConstellationEternalLucidDream

Came here because I just can’t do presents & feel so guilty I’m suffering from depression & can’t stand shopping My family (sisters I have no partner or children) expect gifts I also find their gifts a burden Nic knacks Usually a dish & a book The books are usually ones I don’t read My sisters are going to be upset with me!
Comment from : @eskylent7962

Because of this video, you now have a new subscriber
Comment from : @mistywoods4407

Thank you ❤
Comment from : @ajashley3015

All these videos are about ME not giving them, but I’m really looking for a way to ask THEM please not to give ME anything I’m more than happy to buy them stuffs cause that’s their love language
Comment from : @pdrohrtdo9756

This video is helpful, fun, and heartwarming It needs to be promoted every year I loved hearing about the ornament party!brbrA couple of years of no gift Christmas have been so fun This year I went so many festive places, had warm conversations, and it was delightful (Ok, I did wind up with a gift - film for my retro camera for a road trip)
Comment from : @sage9836

After year after year of getting little or just a card at family gatherings we just no longer gift anythingbrWhen asked I said, "We spent $800 on your gifts annually for ten years You gave us a $5 card once a year, we got the hint"
Comment from : @ericlondon2663

Oh my goodness this is the video I was looking for - THANK YOU! Really appreciate the tradition idea, I’m definitely bringing this up this year for my family
Comment from : @niasteadley

I so agree I hate the pressure of christmas gift giving this is a great way to ensure peace and sanity ❤
Comment from : @jeannemarie3704

This is a wonderful idea I've been wanting to communicate this to my family for years I have managed to communicate not to buy me any gifts (which they ignore) but I'm going to give this approach a go (with a few tweaks to suit my family) this year
Comment from : @rickeydean

Dan, thank you for spreading light and love and lifting us up! Love you too😊❤
Comment from : @Mindverve7

Omg and those secret Santa things at work are the worst 🫥 I avoid them like the plague
Comment from : @mitty2575

This is awesome!!! I don’t do Xmas shopping like lots of people do; I’ve always found it odd when I moved to the states and people go broke buying gifts to friends, neighbors , coworkers… totally insane
Comment from : @mitty2575

Thank you so much for this video, Dan and all your very helpful videos! I was sobbing from what you said in the beginning! I was that teenage girl you spoke of with bullying at school and body dysmorphia and grew up in a house with abuse and neglect My Dad left when I was 8 and I ended up being the one who took care of my disabled mother until her passing He hardly ever took the time to talk with me and just gave me Christmas and Birthday gifts to try to say he cared but he never asked how I was really doing nor would he ever offer to help me with homework or if I just needed his presence not presents He remarried and my stepmom is very similar They give gifts still but not quality time and they barely know who I really am, shown by the misguided items they send me that I don’t need I have gone into massive debt for college and told them I won’t give any gifts and I don’t want any gifts They still send me stuff! I’m 37 now and just moved across country to get a new start away from my childhood home and I’m so much happier I’m learning to stand up for myself and that my own happiness is more important than going to extremes in pleasing them in hopes I might actually see them spend more time getting to know me I’m giving myself the gifts of love and presence and that is priceless! Thank you for your beautiful service to us all and your fun humor drops in each video too! Happy holidays and many blessings to you 💗
Comment from : @Steph_Renee_RN

So refreshing!
Comment from : @charlenegoskowicz8220

Love this video ♥️♥️♥️brThanks!
Comment from : @user-ec8js3nc1p

Oh go on say it “warm the cockles of your heart”! I reckon we all need some cockle coddling ;) Happy Christmas Dan! From Theresa in Toronto
Comment from : @theresadoll5374

I love you too Dan ❤
Comment from : @beckybeck8466

God bless u
Comment from : @silviahoffmann158

Why giving present is such a big deal, as if we were bad guys if we didn't give present Same with the tradition of giving Lucky Money to children at the countries that celebrate Luna New Year
Comment from : @veelash3505

Dan, you make so much sense about presents The word you used is "enslaved" Oh boy, how right you are Many people get into debt, for what? I rather spend my hard earned money for long term benefits through charities like World Vision which I have supported for years Yes, they make a difference to the children whom I support, and benefitting their families and communities Thank you for the wake up call!
Comment from : @chursunloh7416

Awesome video❗️❤ hugs my friends ‼️♨️❌⭕️❌⭕️🕊️🎄🌲🌴🌲🎄🕊️🍀🌷
Comment from : @007DFWAngel

What a lovely tradition It is such a stressful season Even a dinner bring this and that and it's a catered event!
Comment from : @maggiea6766

No
Comment from : @ErnieLeblanc

Have a Merry Little Christmas ❤
Comment from : @helenlee6300

Agreedbut I still need the 2 seater
Comment from : @3CQuinn

This is a dream of mine🤶🏼👍🏼
Comment from : @pattipinneri516

I LOVE this channel you are so good at what you do! thank you for your comments about pot luck I hate it I can't afford to bring stuff LOL
Comment from : @kimtaitano2409

the problem that many face is they have created spoiled children that expect and bully adults especially at Christmas that child has too much power and terrorizes the whole house and the parents had rather break down and go into debt instead of correcting those bad behaviors they encouraged prior to
Comment from : @diabeatit5189

Thank you for the words
Comment from : @tierranicole3283

BRAVO! TIME EQUALS VALUE! YOU GET IT! ♥️🌲
Comment from : @cindihunter9119

Amen! Everyone should be doing this! I do it - my friends and family call me Grinch
Comment from : @threedawgz6559

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢❤️🇦🇺
Comment from : @sammnew

I stopped giving Christmas gifts many years ago and asked those around me to STOP giving me gifts too It is absolutely glorious It releases EVERYONE from the horror and pressure of the meaningless gift giving This is also why Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for so many years Great video, as ALL your content is, sir Thank you YOU are a gift! XO
Comment from : @MonicaRicciCoach

❤lovely
Comment from : @NADA-ok2ce

Geez, his view of Christmas is so sad and depressing Enslavement? Really? This guy makes the grinch seem like pollyanna Lol
Comment from : @amarasunflower6914

I have done this and thank God the pressure is off! I'm glad to see that others are doing the same, thank you for posting this
Comment from : @griffinror

Louder for the people in the cheap seats! 📢
Comment from : @carynm4662

This is exactly how I feel I've been told that it's sad that I don't celebrate and it'll be more sad when I have kids I dislike the fake gestures that occurs during Christmas Buying useless gifts and all I give all year round to my loved ones and I get valuable items that they need I also agree that too people put too much money into this holiday all for looks I appreciate the info you shared as well It's another great insight!
Comment from : @bbxy2418

When my child was little I would be so stressed out by getting thoughtful gifts for people and it wasn't always appreciated I stopped stressing about the holidays a long time ago I keep it simple I usually bake things for people and I think people like that better I don't like how christmas has just become so cosumer driven I enjoy having time off and spending it with people I want to be around I have spent some holidays in quiet solitude and thats ok too
Comment from : @thenewyorkcitizen

Ty Dan ur amazing
Comment from : @winsome6705

Dan You are a rockstar This all the way Let that dumb gift of china stuff go and build some relationships with your real 🎁; be present for the ones you love ❤ Leave the gifts of crap and waste at the stores
Comment from : @77Tadams

My ones here would think we were pulling a Christmas with the Kranks I've only managed this with our niece who has 3 kids and one on the way, her and husband were only too delighted when l said "no more pointless gifts" the others think we are having a laugh and the truth is they want gifts They want materialistic pointless gifts 😴brI hope one day they all grow a brain Love your content brHope you have a happy holiday/Christmas, love from from Ireland 🇮🇪 🥰
Comment from : @irishcountrygirl78

Great tips! I have a ton of relatives so stopped gift giving when we moved to rural Alaska 25 yrs ago and I'm at peace with that Good friend became a grandma recently & I mailed alaskan infant booties, not expensive but the postage from here was more than the gift! So thank you for reminding me not to get back on that wagon Happy holidays
Comment from : @gsantini8518

What about vintage only? Something you already have at home Or home made stuff
Comment from : @Babesinthewood97

I don’t know what to say to my bosses they want me and coworkers to collect donations for a particular charity We must ask every customer to donate but some people don’t want to donate Which is ok so company tell us to round up or to make them feel bad and at the end of the day or during our shift they make us feel a little like crap because we’re not collecting a lot for the day what can I say to them that won’t jeopardize my job and show that I’m still doing the work but I understand why the customers are not giving especially this year I do everything my company ask but I’m not good at begging for donations Help TIA!
Comment from : @tinawater863

Facts
Comment from : @groovidge5106

I started doing this about 10 years ago My son is the exception what we do is do a special shopping trip before Christmas and together buy a new set of pj's or socks etc, a game, a book etc ❤️ wrap it up and put it under the tree and open it up on Christmas day No surprises! Also birthdays are "experience gifts" so when we have a birthday we might bake or buy a cake together, and do an activity together like a gymnastics class or movie or go cart etc!
Comment from : @rachelrmcbryan525

Thank you for your video! I am already stressed out I have tried to do this with my relatives, and I feel like they guilt me They are well off, and I am retired on a fixed income They are saying it is just one gift and put a price on the gift I am also expected to give my two little cousins a gift The children come from a very wealthy family as well My own family, children and grandchildren live across the country I do, however, send Pajamas to my grandchildren who are under the age of 7
Comment from : @jazzybee5148

Xmas needs to stop Asia is so much at peace without the Christmas trees and buying everyone something they may not like It’s bad for the environment too!
Comment from : @main2333

Xmas is a made up crap for big corporations
Comment from : @main2333

I don't want presents at Christmas time What I'd really love is just a holidaywhich I don't get because my workplace stays open everyday of the year except Christmas day and good Friday I live in Australia The first job I ever had in the 1980's, we closed down for two weeks Oh how we've gone downhill! When work invited me to their Christmas party, I said no thanks I'd rather a break
Comment from : @noelgibson5956

I told my sister and parents this just last week:- I'm not buying anymore, and expect nothing in return Just a family get together with food, drink, music and each others company brMy parents house is full of junk they never use and don't needso why add to it? I just haven't the funds to buy people things they don't want anyway Unless they're are young kids in the family, which there isn't at present, this is how it will be:- NO presents! brIt's funny how all these atheists who never attend church their entire lives suddenly become 'Christians' for that one day and insist on presents, expensive food and getting drunkwhich Jesus would frown upon brDon't serve big business by taking part, whether you're a Christian or not YOU need the money more
Comment from : @noelgibson5956

Thanks!
Comment from : @jewelzc

We haven't bought each other presents in our family for years! We all work retail and don't have time, or energy to shop ! We just want to have a nice dinner together and spend time together! We do however, get the Littles something!
Comment from : @ham3749

You’re so amazing! Thank you
Comment from : @MS-rc6ii

I'll happily share this message And good on you for establishing your own tradition rather than just doing holidays by rote A lot of people will be alone on Christmas, and a lot of those people will be happier for it 😂
Comment from : @PhoenixProdLLC

Wonderfully healthy counter materialistic culture, love your idea! Anticipating backlash from family not sure how to handle the judgers that value monetary materials You inspire me to be true to the Christmas spirit and I will give it a go despite their nonverbal chagrins In the past I would always write in my cards that the gift I give is a small token and to remember the best gift ever is Jesus (partially to prepare them that they're not gonna open that expensive expectation of their dreams but also to remember Jesus is Who we celebrate not gifts) I will give your idea a go! Thank you!
Comment from : @samt2451

How can tell your in-laws this They insist on presents and tell you exactly what they want They could careless if you short on cash
Comment from : @rockinrobin322

Happy Holidays Dan 🎄🫂 Watching your videos is like listening to a long lost friend!
Comment from : @bric9244

This is what it's about I used your graphic maker in the link and will be sending them out❤ Luv you Dan!
Comment from : @redlipstick858

Hi Dan brI’m not a Christian, I don’t celebrate Christmas but in my culture we do have similar holiday, and i AGREE 100 with you brI stopped giving presents on those holidays and I started giving more value to the bond, relationships and the quality of our time together brbrBecause you know what, you presents might stay around for year or two but you presence and words and the extent to which you value your family is for eternity
Comment from : @rada7339

Christmas presents are for very small children, and for all the adults to spread joy, kindness & love only! I wholeheartedly agree with you thank you for the truth! I am so glad for this message
Comment from : @doriannemosich232

Also, I wish we were friends You’re the loveliest salty person in the world ❤ you seem genuinely very pleasant and I’m so pleased to have found your channel
Comment from : @BeckBeckGo

🔥💯🔥 Love this!! So true!!
Comment from : @lizzchoate

I don't want to give out of obligation, or receive out of pretense My sincerity and commitment is in exchanging mutual feelings of joy and the fulfillment of gratitude Translated Stop the bridging, the guilt, the pressure, the expectation of reciprocal fake giving
Comment from : @janicedhatcher1272

I don't want crap, sometimes I'm unwrapping something and before I even know what it is I'm just wondering how to rearrange my face in to grateful expression or how long I have to wait before I can throw it out It's just not what people intended It's not right that people are all wasting money like thisbrLast year, I even told my parents, I don't want a box of biscuits, I want you to listen to me But there's a lot going on there! That's a complicated one which hasn't been resolved yet I'm serving up Christmas lunch though! And it will be delicious So I'm not a grinch
Comment from : @SusanaXpeace2u

Wow, Dan! As much of a jaded old hag as I am, I bet I'm not the only one who still loves everything about the holidays My family and I usually give practical gifts, like socks or booze, unless we find something too hilarious to pass up A lot of gifts are edibletake it home or pass around the room to share My fave gifts have been donations to the local animal shelter That means SO much! That tells me my fam really 'gets' me, and knows what I care about I also love giving out warm sox to many of our local homeless ppl I often buy coffee and a breakfast biscuit for ppl who are wintering outdoors I bag up dog food to give out to their dogs When I have a few extra bucks, I buy a couple 3pks of propane canisters to give ppl for heat These small gifts often bring a tear to the eye of the receiver Gifting can mean that much I say, give according to need Oh, I also put a few extra food items in the laundry room of our apartment building They never last long! Ppl are out here struggling Let's show them someone cares!
Comment from : @staceykersting705

Hi, Dan! I'm a big fan, but this part about saying that stuff to a teenage girl is hilarious You'd for sure have a fight on your hands if u mentioned weight, any hint she might suffer from social isolation or anything about dumpsters! I can't stop laughing U must know they virtually all have an inner (or not so inner) desire to be thin and popular, admired by one and all
Comment from : @staceykersting705

Dan, you are such a sweetheart 💕 brbrAs someone who once worked in a Westfield shopping mall many, many years ago, I remember all the Xmas gifts that were returned straight after Xmas and it was vulgar and ugly! I started working in the mall when I was 13, so it was a real loss of innocence about Xmas brbrOnce I hated the weirdness of Xmas so much, I spent the day making food for the homeless brbrFinally, could people stop talking about Xmas around September? Let’s start thinking about Xmas after Thanksgiving!brbrA
Comment from : @MsActor2009

It's nice to hear you saying what I've felt for decades 👏👏👏
Comment from : @nikkid9915

Me and my partner would get presents from his parents ,that would end up in charity shops (too small clothes , unsusable gifts and etc) for years So we have stooped buying Christmas / birthday presents two years ago, and that was the best decision ever We have no pressure anymore brWe only give cash/gift vouchers to young people in the family , and they seems to be very happy with that
Comment from : @magdalenasmagicalhome

You are awesome!! I wish I’d discovered you years ago when I was working 😳 but now I’m 77 (Australian female) I’ve been thinking how phoney Christmas is since my teens No spontaneity, pretending you like the presents that your loved ones made the effort to buy you etc etc Your videos on communication are great Love from Sue
Comment from : @suegilmour889

This is great advice! I really like the positive way you approached this I stopped the present thing a few years ago but I felt guilty explaining it, like I was being a miserable Scrooge But I just couldn’t stand going out and buying ‘stuff’ for others that I know in truth they didn’t need and I was spending money I couldn’t really afford and more importantly what a waste of time and energy it felt The memory of the dread of Christmas ☹️
Comment from : @oli230

I LOVE gifts but personally delivered with a visit at my house for tea or soup The gift can be a couple wild flowers, a heartfelt note, or a back rub Maybe a piece or two of Neuhaus chocolate❤❤❤
Comment from : @rivkaruthgolan

i just want to say, you are a blessing and a gift to all of us who follow you Thank you for all your wise words and advice Have you ever posted a video on how to respectfully decline an invite to a destination wedding? My nephew is getting married in Hawaii in March and the family is pressuring me to go along with my daughter and husband They seem to think it's perfectly normal to blow $3000 on what is basically a party, my nephew and his fiancé have lived together for 5 years and are parents to a 3 year old I'm a stay at home mom How do I get them off my back tactfully, the Dan way? Thanks again and Happy Thanksgiving Annie
Comment from : @rokanrollannie1

You’re amazing Dan Thank you so much for the advice, the inspiration and the humour Love you!
Comment from : @bambina3148

This attitude is long overdue , I’ve been cutting back on pressies for years , but this year I stopping the sham of giving to those who have everything , and give to the homeless and animals
Comment from : @christinebeames712

Awww! Dan, I love you, too! Great idea with "not spending", but instead have quality time with loved ones! 👌💖
Comment from : @Mira20153

I implemented my non Christmas a few years ago and my name was the grinch however my daughter came over to my non Christmas and said it was the best ever YAY! brI have thought of the fallout if this becomes a ‘thing’ the economy would collapse as sooo much of the yearly forecast depends on Christmas sales oh well more $$$ for stuff we might actually need🕺🏼
Comment from : @joanneturnbull5640