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We’re No Longer Funding Your Lifestyles | Sending Money Back Home to Africa

Beverly Adaeze 100 views

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I am stillf7nding my beloved life style
Comment from : @DelightfulCharlene

I am the last born, hence the baby of the house, no one remembers to ask me for anything
Comment from : @Oooluuuu

They have a whole country! Fix it They think America was always America? No people had to get it from the mud Literally They need to do the same
Comment from : @jadesingleton4110

I think a lot of African parents have this perception that since certain countries have stronger currencies/economies that just easy to send money back home But they forget that those stronger currencies come with a higher cost if living You can be earning your dollars/euros and be living hand to mouth yet you're expected to pay your siblings school fees like you're the one who have birth to them Even if you're still living at home, and sometimes even in your parents home since you can't afford rent they still expect you to be paying all the bills I had a friend in such a situation She had just graduated so obviously she wasn't earning a lot and was still living at home but somehow when groceries need to be bought or the electricity needs to be paid it's on her Meanwhile both parents had higher incomes She had to put her foot down since at that rate she was saving nothing and only had enough left to pay transport to and from work
Comment from : @MarvelLio-u1s

I’m Romanian and have an uncle in USA that bought houses, cars send money for his siblings for decades He stopped a few years ago and now he is the bad guy And the people who recieved the money besides the houses (with someone este given to them) they have nothing to show for
Comment from : @jonathanhosman2579

Yes it’s the same with Romanians I’ve been in the Uk for 8 years now and most of my relatives won’t speak to me because I don’t want to give them money at easy, much and fast as they would want
Comment from : @jonathanhosman2579

It’s called the Black Tax (Prevents those living in the west from saving money and building wealth)
Comment from : @mahamoudali2176

Yeah, move to a community, and instead of trying to keep that money in the community you live in, instead send it to the other side of the world and watch the community you live in degrade around you Makes sense!
Comment from : @dustin628

Trevor Noah called it “The Black Tax” in his book Born a Crime
Comment from : @hippodinoreserve6090

What gets me angry with Africans in America is when we talk about investment back home what it means is to finding out ways to take money out of native Africans pockets into their own The investments have nothing to do to improve the economy , they expect politicians to be good at creating jobs
Comment from : @EK-iz7es

I know im showing my ignorance, but i assumed people sent money back home because otherwise those family members would go without As in not have food or medical care
Comment from : @jessicahay9305

Us Indians are so similar to African in so many aspects, including this I remember my grandmothers brothers would come with suitcase of gifts for our grandmother Similarly they must have been giving gifts for other close relatives too That practice has thankfully stopped with my grandparents generation only My moms brothers are in UAE and UK and when they come visit, its just chocolates and small token gifts out of lovebrbrBut yes, I know of other neighbours and extended relatives who remit back money and 'invest' in businesses back home, only for the business to mysteriously fail almost immediately 😢
Comment from : @mereldsilva

My 40 year old sister has no retirement plan even though she has worked at the same job that has offered her a retirement plan for 22 years She also has Rethumoid arthritis and not on any treatment plan to manage it I told her to not expect financial assistance from me in our old age
Comment from : @AngelaBarth088

Some of our distant relatives found a catalog, back in the 90s, made a big X on each item they wanted and sent it to us brbrMy mom was furious!
Comment from : @Janjan0190

It's also a thing in eastern europe too My parents still send money to relatives back home, even after over 30 years We moved away when I was 3 and I barely know these people I don't plan to send anyone money since I'm not having an easy time living myself They somehow think we're rich and have it so good My dad probably lied and made it sound like everything was great They're both retired and living on welfare in government housing, yet they still send money
Comment from : @dj_is_fine

Yes, filling the suit case with stuff for the relatives I had a uncle come back to Canada with just the clothes in his back, his toiletries and suitcases were “gifted” to relatives
Comment from : @realmms

honestly i miss when our cultures focused on the true essence of family and connection our family relationships used be based on sharing wisdom, talking and supporting each other, laughing together now with money siblings, uncles and aunties don’t even ask each other “how are you”, they treat you like an ATM for real they don’t care about you like family, in fact you could be interchangeable with any other stranger if their wallet was open too
Comment from : @smartypants261

“You’re too lazy to be alive I will let you starve” 😭😭😭It sounds horrible to say but some people just don’t deserve your kindness
Comment from : @prodbytarantino

I think the same rules apply for all immigrants families from America to their native lands
Comment from : @Araceli_Espinoza9585

I am Indian, and this problem is prevalent here too
Comment from : @Bhuv-

they will never stop spending money they moved for a reason and it wasn’t to live a good life while their family starved to death when they could’ve done something
Comment from : @suburban4614

In addition (😂cuz this is like my third comment) A large part of the country is poor because of greed It’s literally a vicious cycle
Comment from : @AINAOFFICIAL-r1b

This is very educational for me, i'm an expat but not African Thank you Btw your hair scarf is gorgeous - the colour really suits you
Comment from : @cushlathompson3074

My extended family got cut off and they don’t talk to me, so…
Comment from : @FaeMagic

My mother opened a business with someone back home The business was doing good until the relative started pocketing money and making excuses as to why some was missing They make it hard for you to help them smh
Comment from : @jeanbastien9424

she sounds amecan its funny how imgrants in the usa learn the us accent so quick in England alone we have so meny diffrent accents that only people grown up in that arear learn the accent
Comment from : @joesmith8701

You assimilated very well to the american culture, profound selfishness and making up reasons on why your relatives are actually bad and undeserving of help
Comment from : @flameadon

I'm African American and I've had to avoid/evade family members who always have their hands out
Comment from : @dcwilson000

Lost touch with my European relatives 300 years ago My answer to a sob story for money is, “ Why tell me? This sounds like a personal problem!”
Comment from : @astralclub5964

COLLEGE FUNDS? WHATS THAT?😂😂😂
Comment from : @lookingfordrama01

SUFFERING BUILDS CHARACTER😂😂😂
Comment from : @lookingfordrama01

I thought I'd disagree with this, but yeah, toxic families who don't appreciate you do not deserve to live off your money Anyone from overseas trying to survive in Australia and still send money home will also need to be wealthy, because cost of housing and living here is so high compared to wages
Comment from : @Crystal_Clout

The fact that they send money only encourages them to continue the same way, accepting the country to continue the same way!
Comment from : @HGoyas

I can confirm Married to Persian and the pressure is crazy and his parents are actually not bad begin with but bad with money according to my spouse Also his friend from Pakistani ate basically cheap noodles etc and sent all the money from student help and later from work to home for brother to get married and parents built a house etc but this does not stop family pressuring him more and trying to control his life (who he marries, what he does etc) Crazy
Comment from : @mrsmerily

My father passed away 2020, during Covid His family was trying to extort me for money and his belongings to get permission to bury my own father, who hadn't been back home for nearly 30 years Long story short, I buried my dad in America and gave them nothing I will never honor whatever ridiculous Nigerian customs that exist There is ZERO love
Comment from : @TheHomiesHub_

I see young people working overtime, never seeing their partner, living with bugs… and I know their family isn’t rich, but really aren’t struggling Yes, they have less in their bank account, but their expenses are less I see people give up their dreams because they are crippled sending money home brOk if family are bringing up your kids, but that’s different You are paying for a service
Comment from : @philippal8666

Unless the money is for my parents or brother, or my husbands parents and sister, I don’t give let alone loan money… I have two kids and we keep money for them
Comment from : @Chillgameplayday

Nobody sending money home to South Africa, dunno why you picked our flag You don't know 2 black South Africans living abroad!
Comment from : @Matthew-qc1xz

I wish my family would stop doing that Mainly my dad, There is no reason they live well in their home country He needs to live his life Not fund fam back home I will not become that sibling
Comment from : @karlapoof7115

The extended family is a life savior but it is also a money sink
Comment from : @tombeegeeeye5765

Finally some honesty ❤
Comment from : @LouisLuzuka

you pretty much hit the head on the nail with it im mexican and while my family in the country hasnt outright asked me for it (to be honest, our interactions are very filtered, especially bc im not in contact with them unless its through my dad) but mainly what ive seen is my aunts on my fathers side, his sisters, have taken advantage of the money hes sent to take care of his dad to treat themselves and his siblings all seem largely apathetic to their dad sometimes i know from what hes told me he wasnt exactly a good man or father but to take and pocket the money my dad sends them is crazy whats crazier is he didnt listen to my mom to stop for a while
Comment from : @s4dsquid135

For me, the economy in Mexico has been doing better in terms of inflation not being as high there for food, gas, water, few other stuff We had been giving many families thousands of dollars of our savings and one family after my grandfather died, he claimed everything! Mind you my grandpa has 7 kids and it was soppose to be split according to which family memebers has the least, which are my aunts but no A uncle took it all after we helped him for so long, the whole family turned on him as he convinced my grandma to make some changes to the will so he could take the little he left for my aunts Hes now retired at 40, has home forever without payments, found out there is water reserve under which could use to get even more money, he had the audacity to ask for money 😭 Anyways the whole family feels fooled that we have nothing left for us back in México when we are too old to work
Comment from : @Yurito12

From South Asia here My uncle sends 90 of his income to his wife and kids All his sons are sporting the latest heavybikes and smartphones Full rich lifestyle It was when my dad visited him that he realized the guy was living off of charity food
Comment from : @zunaslogic4128

Sad!! People don’t understand life in America is not fantasy
Comment from : @Buddaflyblanca

You don't owe your family and should never give away more than you can comfortably live without Sure, if you're a billionaire or something, give back, but most people are average income workers and life is expensive I am a German who has no migration history and of course I like giving back to my parents, treating them to meals, taking my mom on holidays, and also giving lots of gifts to my friends and family but I am only doing that now that I can afford it and never beyond my means, and only to people I love dearly, not just because we're related Don't let other people bully you into giving them money, they were fine without your money for decades
Comment from : @emilymeyer7788

Giving family members money makes them dependent on you It doesn’t help them It stunts them They fail to thrive
Comment from : @Inventio13

Have you notice how in most cases is WOMEN sending money, and not the other way around 😅brThey always guilt trip women witg the family no sense , but i seen MEN, rich men that dont help their sisters or moms cuz they have a family to support And they own their privilege cuz the mom prioritized him over their sisters They are so selfish even with family and their new money is for the super high manience wife and probably that woman family I seen it, thsts why i write it but if it was the woman, specially the older or firts sister , oh boy, they will dry her
Comment from : @AyAReI00

I agree if you can afford to give, you should However, people should NEVER feel entitled to your money It all depends on situation and how they ask
Comment from : @mewfortwo

I'll be saving money for an emergency fund for my little sister, once I'll earn proper money She has pretty bad spending habits and some mental health issues When shit hits the fan I want to be able to help her out That being said, I won't tell her any of that I want her to get an education and a good job and not have to rely on anyone I just wanna be able to cushion her fall, if (not when, if!) things go south
Comment from : @paulinemoira8442

I have a friend who lives in a western country with rapidly reducing living standards She has a good job, but pays a lot of money for a crappy apartment, while she sends money back home so her family can live a much better life The worst part is, she doesn't even enjoy going home anymore because everyone just keeps asking her for money
Comment from : @hiptinasha8473

lol, all adults should stand on their own damn feet not to say you should not help a very close family member in a time of true need (and they should pay it back when they can), but otherwise bnope/b
Comment from : @douglasharley2440

I never even let the door to that open When they ask I simply say no I don’t care who that offends Every man for himself
Comment from : @ibiro868

Funny with my wife and her mother it was the opposite My wife immigrated to the US as a Computer Engineer Her mother was a Civil Engineer back home in Russia Her mother used to send my wife over half her wages every month despite my wife, while not making out because she was on an H1B Visa and employers never pay them a decent wage She made enough to live spartanly Well it worked out in the long run because my wife eventually was able to bring her mother over and allowed her to retire We married which allowed my wife to retire as well and both she and her mother spent my daughter’s entire childhood at home with her It was the best gift me and my wife could ever give our daughter Both me and my wife are now retired and my mother-in-law is still enjoying benefits of sacrificing for her daughter My problem is she is as frugal as hell with herself She will eat sautéed cabbage and potatoes for a meal She enjoys Caviar but she won’t let us ever buy it for her except for holidays and her Birthday A small little single serving of Caviar isn’t that expensive at Costco
Comment from : @matthewhuszarik4173

Stop sending it home and start building back at home That should have always been the goal
Comment from : @Chillaxes

My first apartment was $300/mo in 1999 I saw the same apartment listed recently for $1200/mo I know wages haven't quadrupled in that time
Comment from : @ariste01

I remember my mum asked me for 2500€ to “borrow” to pay for rent and all, and at that time, it was over half of my money i owned I asked to check her account and show any proof for it, but she refused, she wrote down in paper to prove it, but i knew she was hiding something I refused, and she became livid, telling me how ungrateful, and rude to my own family Four days later she got a package with a chanel bag inside it I was so hurt learning that she wanted half of my money to cover the pay of a damn fake leather bag with just a famous name plastered on it She just laughed it off and didn’t mention how she wanted my money brbrAlso another reason why i was so hesitant was cause she did borrow 1300€ from me earlier, but only paid like 200€ back When i mentioned to her about it, she claimed how she never borrowed money from me
Comment from : @kynteji

No, because it's the same for my mom My mom has been working since she was 10 to support her and her siblings When we moved to America, her mother , her sibling, and everyone kept asking her for money The inly times she would get calls is when she is sending money If she dont send money, the phone calls stop THIS HABIT STOP WITH HER I dare anyone to ask me for money I will only ever give money if i feel like it I also can stop when i want to
Comment from : @minoligorden3326

she is really pretty
Comment from : @hihihi45ify

Seems that in Nigeria there's no meritocracy culture, maybe the younger generation should be the ones bringing it
Comment from : @NBmad

The idea that I would give away the money I worked for to my family members who are not pulling their own weight is insanity
Comment from : @MrMountainchris

Each immigrant from Third World countries costs thousands of dollars per year to the West in remittance It's a huge drain on the economy
Comment from : @redMaple_QC

This Chick sprayed like five different perfumes on to herself
Comment from : @RoseBushThorns588

Looking after family is a core part of African culutre, people live more communally The truth is, and it is hard to hear, that every new generation born in the west is less african and more western In the west you live an indevidualistic lifestyle for yourself, if you have an issue no extended family is coming to help In Africa you live in a community, kids raised in the community, when there is a feast the whole community joins
Comment from : @1happyRain

another fucking beeping channel
Comment from : @danieleverywhere132

Not just over sea relatives My dad's brothers have expected him to 'loan ' them money for decades Just because he got a scholarship to university and started his own business after They went on fancy vacations, bought expensive vehicles, while my dad and mom always did little local camping trips, drive second-hand hand vehicles, and they still expected him to give the money out of their savings Smh There is always that person in an extended family brThey adopted my brother when he was five, my uncle had the nerve to send my dad an email telling him he should return my brother to the orphanage because dad finally out his foot down and said no to giving him more money That is when we finally cut that uncle out of our lives for good
Comment from : @beth-bi9yv

I'm blk American so I always wondered about how funding really help/hurt the family I'm not saying it is bad, but some of the people I met be doing so much! brI don't have to fund my family but I do help out when needed brPersonal Opinion - I've always felt like the moment you come to my country they treat yall different back home You're fighting in the US trying to make a living while fighting with your homeland just using you That has to suck I do hope balance will be made cause wow yall have a mental fight that is so sad and insightful to hear/read the truth
Comment from : @3minutestill

My mother spent money so all my cousins could go to college and get their degrees in the Philippines She just ended up not having money to send her own kids to college
Comment from : @readermike8355

Although I haven't been in this same type of situation, I can imagine how uncomfortable and exhausting this kind of pressure isbrI like helping and supporting others because I know first-hand how it is to barely have any money to afford food or clothes I gave my brother money when he was struggling with debts and never asked him to pay it back I bought stuff for my younger sister when she didn't earn money, and I'm saving money for her daughter because my uncle used to do that for mebrbrBut the thing is: I'm doing all these things because I want to, not because anyone expects me to Financially supporting someone in need should be done out of love without sacrificing your own happiness and well-being If you can't afford to help someone financially, there are many other ways you can help But families should never make you their personal cash cow
Comment from : @NoxAtlas

Well said ♥
Comment from : @erica5098

If my family are struggling even though they do all they can, and I have more than enough, I will helpbrIf they are not even tryingI will not help
Comment from : @annepoitrineau5650

From what I have heard any African that enjoys success is expected to help out that family, even into third cousins that they had not previously heard of That's Africans who succeed in Africa, not just those who succeeded outside of AfricabrIt's just African culture, and may well explain why Africa is poor
Comment from : @Sp0tthed0gt

We wete divided east german family My granny and mum send money and parcels regularly to those "poor" petsons who lamented constantly, alrhough they had their own business and a datschabon country side Guilt sydrome because they thought living in the west, they made it We received two xmas cakes every year One for granny, one for mum My mum suiced herself in Sept First thing east family did was to cancel our cake bec they knew from orphans they would not get their money and parcels They never asked how we were doing and after wall came down, they bought iwn homes and businesses We never got a thank you or acknowledgement, the opposite happened, they were laughing at us, that we build no own homes not realising one of reasons wad rhat all spare money went to them for years My mum had one holiday in her life in the 1980s When i went through saved letters and postcards from rhem begging for help, I found handhigh stable of holiday postcards from them which they sent to grann in those years Makes me sick how they took us fir a ride and kucked us in the arse when my mum died
Comment from : @tarot-karma-online