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Things No One Tells You About Being A Sperm Donor

The Onion 96 views

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I won't mind
Comment from : @PEEJAY-u6v

I wonder if that guy’s aware of how his stock photo is being used lol
Comment from : @F-sj7cu

I'm donate to sparm di
Comment from : @arvindshrimangale3179

What the fuck is thiis world im going to mars
Comment from : @Bracathevistalover

😂😂😂
Comment from : @FlakeMaker

How do you know
Comment from : @BlueFingers1

I'm coming!!! ahhh baby ahh baby here it comes in your face!!!!! Ugggghhhhhh
Comment from : @thaaffguy

😂😂😂😂😂😂
Comment from : @Zeneyez

I need to hurry on this at my age Any help?
Comment from : @Finella2638

wow, thats a big cap you got on
Comment from : @Dude_Ness

TASTE?!!
Comment from : @bluesteno64

They have to taste they have to be canceled 💀
Comment from : @Blootballedit

Lies
Comment from : @henryd1497

What the fuck man why do you guys do this
Comment from : @that_youtuber9991

ok can the whole crowd suck it if im not cumming fast enough
Comment from : @DJPLAYZ782

ok what if i have alot of sperm
Comment from : @DJPLAYZ782

Does the load amount matter ?
Comment from : @eduardomata9714

Spermy germy
Comment from : @zarstar1576

Taste😱
Comment from : @christhuang4935

More like Semenar 👀
Comment from : @SaturnFrost

The Onion has really gone down hill with the quality of their content
Comment from : @theneedle6785

Give the taster a breakeat lots of pineapple and drink pineapple juice
Comment from : @garywilson9640

As long as it doesnt show up on my doorstep in 20 years it can be whatever it wants to be
Comment from : @That_0ne_Dev

You have to also do an murder investigation crime scene and in order to find the suspect you must pull your johnson
Comment from : @wreckingtestes2885

Wtf
Comment from : @sebastiancornejo6257

Taste?brLarge crowd?brWhat☠
Comment from : @Valid_opinionist

i can only imagine the crouds on the 1st of Dec
Comment from : @shing1239

Smell and taste
Comment from : @Jonny-idk

Lol
Comment from : @moonlightman9420

How much money tho
Comment from : @thecoolsideofthepillowpodcast

all of this sounds awesome when can i start
Comment from : @parsnipguy2986

The taste!?
Comment from : @AlexSmith-ft4uw

How much is the salary for their nurses
Comment from : @abidalwi1067

They gotta be trolling
Comment from : @DopeBoysofatlanta

God hates those that speak lies (Proverbs 6:19)
Comment from : @this_is_NOT_a_test

don't forget about long conching
Comment from : @Pandalka

After all these years, I thought I knew the jizzt of it 🫤
Comment from : @joshuarumble9467

😂😂😂
Comment from : @cindylewis3325

When i was twelve my parents told me i was a donor baby and realizing this now what my dear papa had to go through to deliver me to the universe has been a heartbreaking culmination, rest in a sea of sperm of all your beloved children that never were blessed to be birth my dear sperm donor daddy😢💔
Comment from : @drakej_29

I was conceived through a sperm donor so I can personally attest that this is all true
Comment from : @Astrodiddle

Things no one tells you about being a stock photography model: 1) you might be used by the onion as a "sperm sommelier"
Comment from : @underweightHater

OMG I thought this was true for a split second, until I watched the creator 💀
Comment from : @angelodeus8423

Do you have to bring your own nipple clamps and vibrating butt plug
Comment from : @billy6044

I wonder what that stock photo model would think to see his picture with "Sperm Sommelier" on top of itbrbrAssuming it's not an AI generated picture, which at this point is not a fair assumption at all
Comment from : @majorgnu

II didn't need to know allat
Comment from : @sillyyoutuber7860

Thank god I saw this sooner! I needed some advice before my first time!
Comment from : @sweatermanlonglegs

I've had far too much actual crazy shit in my feed that I've been trying to weed out Glad you're here
Comment from : @PanthereaLeonis

Those last 2 hmmm
Comment from : @Immadeus

The Onion used to be extremely funny satire These shorts Hmmm pffff
Comment from : @quickloris

I wasn't on board with this at all until the last line
Comment from : @knackyknack

Thanks for the explanation The Onion Now I know something about donation!
Comment from : @Symbioticism

The only downside is that - unlike blood tests - it's not the nurse who collects your sample
Comment from : @ivanfreire

You almost got me Onion
Comment from : @someguy6369

"Deposited into a bucket"brAh yes, the Homestuck method
Comment from : @AlphaPizzadog

All positive points
Comment from : @noahnewcomb6344

those all sound like positives to me
Comment from : @DirtyBobBojangles

the music choice
Comment from : @sadpee7710

Forget Dos Equis, stay thirsty my friends
Comment from : @duart310

You can donate post mortem so, get your drivers licence updated
Comment from : @BigMobe

These are all good though
Comment from : @slendveny7191

It's probably true about or kids tho
Comment from : @MrLoobu

Mike Rowe’s next Dirty Jobs episode Sperm sommelier
Comment from : @kansascityshuffle8526

Dream come true 😍😍😍
Comment from : @mossballus

I’m not a drug addict or a murder, fake news
Comment from : @jadedesigns6171

They also make you fill out a release form for each sperm
Comment from : @animalphax

Yeah when I froze mine before transitioning the sommelier complimented the strength but said the taste needed work
Comment from : @GuitarRocker2008

See this is why I prefer living in CanadabrbrThey tell us about all this up front
Comment from : @renatocorvaro6924

You can most certainly NOT cum as hard as you want! I was reprimanded
Comment from : @staudinga

Wow this sounds really good Such a shame 99 of us including me won't qualify
Comment from : @finhula

These all sound like positives to me!
Comment from : @russelljardine8332

yeah
Comment from : @otomir23

Bro what this is like some half-baked shitposts
Comment from : @Mashaallaah

not funny, like not offensive just far from funny maybe in 7th grade
Comment from : @sheikfrankicechibu1827

Worst part is you're not even allowed to moan Not even a little bit!
Comment from : @RoboterBoboter

How do you become a sperm sommelier? Asking for a friend
Comment from : @Pouncer9000

They brought a school in for a field trip for my first time
Comment from : @craigsmith4665

happened to me once
Comment from : @himeruP

How does one become a sperm sommelier?
Comment from : @martins2502

"As hard as I want?"br"As hard as you want!"
Comment from : @hollydot9245

Sperm sommelier! 😂
Comment from : @megamanx466

The Onion: Home of Minimal Effort Shorts
Comment from : @technoman9000

Wow, The Onion is so cringe now, they used to be so good What a shame
Comment from : @ankstuhful

This is why we need legislative reform
Comment from : @kevinbenitez42

Another thing they don't tell you, you're not supposed to father hundreds of kids in various countries
Comment from : @MLeoDaalder

bro anti nut propaganda lmao
Comment from : @FireWingShadow

This channel really has died like so many other things💀💀💀☠️
Comment from : @External_XS

Another important fact:brYour mom is the sommelier
Comment from : @Иван-ы5ш5ы

Welcome to a day in which you wish you never knew this
Comment from : @External_XS

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Things No One Tells You About Being A Sperm Donor

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