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Why are narcissists so stingy when it comes to money?

DoctorRamani 256 views

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My mum drove my dad to suicide and now she’s trying to both drive me to it and prevent me from doing it at the same time She had me hospitalised by lying about my mental health and she has not bloody stopped since Christmas
Comment from : @clarinamascarenhas7499

If they feel that their generosity isn't getting enough gratitude they will become sullen, resentful, or passive aggressivealways thinking they are being taken advantage of
Comment from : @sheiswildlyfree7319

My ex would splurge on expensive jewelry which I never asked for yet monitor Every penny of what I spent in my checkbook for household items Lovebombingand No, you can't win It was to make him look good-- status
Comment from : @camillemcconnell8504

The amount of guilt tripping that comes with narcissists and money never ends Even when they are asking what you were doing with your life, it will always come down to how much you're making before they tell you what they are doing and how you can benefit them while you're trying to make a life for yourself And when you finally do, they want to pretend to be shocked thar you would cut them off so easily
Comment from : @psylentknight

Lady speaks the truth
Comment from : @RayAtkins-wk9zv

Sounds like some people I know
Comment from : @RayAtkins-wk9zv

I like you your so right
Comment from : @CurtisCloud-r4n

If they say they want to take you out to dinner, and you choose an item that is above average price, they will for a long time tell you and others that you choose the most expensive thing on the menu So when ANYONE takes me out to dinner, I don’t choose anything that is above average price
Comment from : @debbiemoseley3570

They're stingy when it comes to their partners, but they're pretty good with their mother, father, and their friends Narcissists are arrogant people They show off to others You'll never suspect them abusing their partners The supply is the designated enemy The narcissists don't love you, and they don't prioritize you Remember, their supply is their punching bag Although once in a while, they're gifting you a little exensive gift because there's a meaning behind it Be ready for the next narcissistic abuse
Comment from : @Isabela2024-yr

Stinginess is part of my culture, I am dutch lol
Comment from : @mfbj1

If they're like my Sister, her gold is her God! If her work calls to see if she can work EXTRA hours, like on her days off, she's there before they've hung up the phone! She'll LIE saying "I have to pay my rent" Duh!!! Don't get me started! FINALLY figured out she just outright HATES me! Thank you sooo very much for this! Blessings!!! 😎🩷✌️🤘
Comment from : @PinkPumpkin529

I got a $1400 polished rock from Amazon for my 38th wedding anniversary He got a $20000 jade elephant 🤦
Comment from : @ffrederickskitty2910

How is it that you’ve never met my aunt but you can describe exactly how she is?
Comment from : @kaylee3610

🤣🤣🤣🤣
Comment from : @Serinussamurai500

"Gross, it's petty, it's small minded"this is a narcissist in a nutshell!!!
Comment from : @mariajessielocklear8246

This explains why anything more than bare bones is impossible It comes from a place of control/punishment and ultimately keeps them feeling in control It's not given from a place of goodness, and kindness, rather as a means to an end, and therefore bate minimum is the currency of exchange
Comment from : @MozBizResources

Oh my God, thank you Dr Ramani, i so relate to this video As so many others things with the narcissist, money is also a very confused issue to understand This roller coaster av been stingy and generous and all this anger and atitude involving it The paranoia that people are always taking advantage of them ( they think) is also so difficult to deal with 🤮!
Comment from : @julianadebroen7944

Starting to think my girlfriend of 5 years is a narcissist Stops working, doesn't even try to find a job but nothing wrong All the advice, nothing She would rather sit at home and do nothing while asking for money
Comment from : @DeadDude89

My older sister’s mother in law lost my dog that I had for 12 years and I told my narcissist sister to contact the search team to look for our dog but it involves with money She told me to handle the money myself and she’s not going to pay It’s our childhood dog and she’s the one stole my dog and her mother in law lost my dog brIt’s just not fair
Comment from : @cookietran1582

Mines not stingyhe spends it allpoof its gone!
Comment from : @pattimurphy5151

Mum is narc and very generous I’m scapegoat child however i am stingy one y is that
Comment from : @cx_n1

So trueshe never spent any on me everyet on others
Comment from : @Plumduff3303

This is 💯 accurate My uncle all over
Comment from : @ryanjackson4597

My husband, in his early 20s, suffered with severe ocd and depression caused by his extremely abusive narcisstic parents His parents put their son on disability and food stamps while they themselves were occupied traveling all over the world in lap of luxury and leaving their son behind sick
Comment from : @jesusislord9758

They’re stingy bc they have extreme entitlement They think everyone should pay for them Even if they ask you to pick something up, specific to them…they will withhold the money and say they will pay you back when they ‘have time’ I recently experienced this with my sister overseas, headed out to Australia I bought her a cleanser at Black Friday sales, and a week before Xmas - 6 weeks later, I asked if she could reimburse me The reply was, she was too busy and couldn’t do it, even though it was an electronic transfer that took 30 seconds Proper mean spirited narcissist bitch
Comment from : @AnnaWhite-go6nz

My Husband and his Family 💯💯
Comment from : @fallon7616

Someone older and someone younger is whats happening to me He resent me so much 😅
Comment from : @voiceofruby

My husband is a rerecovering narcissist, he is more self aware after 30 years He can can even laugh at himself now when he catches himself being a ridiculous person His brother is a raging wealthy narcissist His brother is the stingy, mean spirited type He wouldn't help family even if it were life and death He is what I call "The Punisher" He holds grudges from childhood It's insanity
Comment from : @angeliqueteague9092

"you cant win" absolutely br"Everything is a transaction" yes!!brAnything they do for you, wont be forgotten ever!br"Tit for tat" toobrOh too,brThey will give giftsthey will take them back when upset Its juvinille its abusive
Comment from : @Hammondchris

$200,000 a year in retirement and investment income and he wouldn't take me for a drive in the country because he didn't want to spend ten dollars in gas? meanness is correct, in their lack of sharing financially as well as emotionally Yet he wanted me to do the grocery shopping and would cheat me on the nickles and dimes when 'paying me back' Sure, make the poorly paid teacher pay for the groceries Good riddance - everything you have said was so true of him God have mercy on his soul !
Comment from : @marthawhite3353

This is so trueloved to lavish themselves with pricey items, but going to the dollar store to buy for othersthe same with foodlove to eat top of the line foods, but buying the generic stuff for others
Comment from : @lillyrose1422

I enjoy you observations because I recognize my myself and myself in them
Comment from : @robertmontgomery110

My so called parents always own huge houses in elite neighborhoods and drive newer cars, farm and timber land, vacation properties, boats, ATVs,expensive hobbies, like smoking 2packs a day, cocaine, binge drinking, yet they Never, ever wanted to buy groceries, toiletries, pay their vet bills, utilities etc Not wanting to feed you children is sick You just described my entire family and I am so glad I am NO contact I was working as a Mississippi public school teacher living on a shoe string and theu demanded expensive gifts, me paying MY own way I live as if I am disinherited It's NOT worth it
Comment from : @bewarefalsenonprofits

Thank you Dr Ramani ! You confirmed what I thought
Comment from : @laura9855

Every thing the doctor is saying is true I’m with a narc for over thirty yrs & he’s ten yrs my senior He went from being generous to penny pinching I understand we need to be carful with money these days but he wants a boat he can’t afford & im getting scrutinized when I go to buy food & paper products !
Comment from : @laura9855

My Ex would brag about how much money he had and that if I needed anything I could ask Yet when I asked I'd be interrogated and called a Scrounger He would rather waste £30 on a Bandit than give me £14 to get Mt hair done because I was skint I learned never to ask because I'd be made to feel like a burden and called a Scrounger 🍒
Comment from : @cherrybacon3319

i have long thoughts and i wonder if my thoughts are entitled and dis-regulated
Comment from : @CanadianBear47

It's a control thing Doesn't matter if you need food" I guess I will buy you a new pair of shoes 😢
Comment from : @terriberrens2144

Stinginess is not wanting your videos to be reposted to help people
Comment from : @10594812

We all struggle here When you give, don't expect anything in return Thank you is good enough, don't grovel, it belittles you
Comment from : @matthewwozniak9138

And let's not forget when your narcissist parent dies DO NOT expect to be in the WILL because you won't beonly the golden childbrBut they will keep stringing you along through life holding that over your headmy mother always said you don't know what you're missing if you don't do this and that while in the meantime your golden child sibling does nothing and takes takestakesand its generously offered with no strings attachedthe hate they truly have for you is unrealso glad i was spared from being oneI would rather die poor and happy than die evil
Comment from : @itsamadmadsadworld4360

😢 OMG how did I not see my husband is a narcisist You are describing him perfectly
Comment from : @arualsan3504

This was my father to a T Mean
Comment from : @josephineananda

According to Dr Ramani am one of them but didn't know all this time how do I get help
Comment from : @europegottalent5792

"I will take you to a nice restaurant But I'm not paying for your meal because you are employed, I'm a student" As if I were begging for that meal
Comment from : @vilinh5356

Once I figured out that his money was for his drug addiction
Comment from : @davidwilfong5820

So if I pick up the tab there happy if they pick up the tab they will complain about everything
Comment from : @davidwilfong5820

Video idea: bipolar traits vs narcissistic traits - I'm concerned some things might look the samebrbrOr am I dealing with a narcissist with bipolar - would love some clarity
Comment from : @Rachaelshaw7

My narcissistic mother stole my inheritance after my father passed away without a will I am entitled by law to some of the estate She claims I am wrong, and that it's all hers This money could have helped me to go to school, or put a down payment on a home I am ashamed to admit that the only reason I am not suing her, is because it's easier for me emotionally to wait for her to pass away
Comment from : @Tabbylover55

Massively generous when trying to catch you though!
Comment from : @Jane-rc2rk

my older sister will hold onto garbage my mum has this habit but shes defo not a narcissist my dad used to hate clutter
Comment from : @sf2explus184

I have seen it so many times You have said it all dr Ramani The cardinal rule of narcisistic relationships is: You can never win
Comment from : @izawaniek2568

Another facet of this: "Well, it's is good enough for you"
Comment from : @Hydrocarbonateable

They are even stingy when it comes to promises !! They never ever follow through they are such liars !
Comment from : @stellabenton199

Generous? Never in a million years they are major major tight wods
Comment from : @stellabenton199

My dad borrowed $20 off me once A couple months later I asked him to pay it back He got angry with me and said, "When are you going to pay back the $150 grand it cost to raise you!" I was on the disability pension at the time too
Comment from : @stephenatkinson2333

why are narcissistic people cruel to small animals? my dad put crazy hot sauce on nuts so squirrels wont eat them, ruining my hobbies just so they can be superior its unreal thats what they spend their time doing and are fine to justify it i wana say more and yet i am speechless of their lack of awareness
Comment from : @CanadianBear47

the reminders of wow look how helpful i am have u ever seen the movie the incredible, basically blowing a boss through 5 walls maybe narcissistic with violence and sometimes ahh
Comment from : @CanadianBear47

My children need school clothes they start tomorrow I'm fkn done I have a responsibility to take care of them I will NOT ask him for shit To heck with a that
Comment from : @tiffytoo

Yep My parents refuse to throw anything out Especially out of date food if they got it on reduced to clear They refuse to pay for their share of things they can easily afford And oh yes, they keep track of everything they've spent when it comes to gifts And I MEAN that Like, they've kept track of it all since we were born 40 years ago Its so sad, and I've grieved a lot over it She took my Birthday presents to the charity shop, even though I said I wanted them, and had tried to retrieve them on multiple occasions When we were 16, a year before she died, my Grandma said she was giving me £2000, and was transfering it to my Mum's account because I didn't have a bank account yet My Grandma died, and my Mum had still refused to give it to me When I got married, surprise surprise, she gave me a £2000 wedding gift When I got divorced, she said I had to pay it back She refused to take the money back as a lump sum though and everything she does is emotional manipulation it turned out that she wanted me to take £50 out of it each year for the next 20 years as Birthday and Christmas presents, and she'd track the balance She's like this with everything She allowed my sister to go to University, but because tuition fees were introduced the year I went, and the loans were based on parental income, my parents refused to let me go because they didn't want to pay the £1000 a year However, they had made me go to boarding school because I was smart and I got a scholarship, yet my Dad's company gave him a grant to send me to boarding school (of an amount the same as the presents they'd bought me up until 16) Basically, they've spent all the time since I was born, ensuring that I would never get a penny out of them They were EXPERTS at it Like, super disgusting It makes me want to puke They had a good lifestyle, but were never above making their kids pay for it
Comment from : @dannyb3663

My ex narc is covert He and his brothers, when at their mothers home, would sit in a circle and try to outdo each other on who had the most debtbrbrIt was disgusting! They did not know how to communicate, so this is all they talked about Trying to one up each other on who had the most debt brbrI would remind him, that his debt situation was self-imposed He loved going behind my back to get loans at the bank, and he would yell at me when there was no money left at the end of the week because all the bills had to be paidbrbrAnd let’s not forget how many of these narc fathers weasel their way out of paying child support They are the ones that hold their heads high, so proud that they can get out of paying child support at a minimum
Comment from : @ckvarnmass

I was the only one to financially support us in the 45 years we were together Never letting him go without anything Beyond the everyday needs I also would PayPal him money for things he wanted to buy and whatnot Yet he just got $1,300 from a great aunt that passed And it came 2 weeks before my check would be here Things were needed And I needed to borrow 25 for a parking ticket I had forgot about And it was time sensitive Needless to say he didn't help out or provide anything NOT ONE THING He said I need to be better with my money
Comment from : @kristinavanvleck4367

My mother lol
Comment from : @annabanzon313

Whew I’m triggered after experiencing financial abuse from a narcissist ex There so stingy
Comment from : @samonecharisma3043

My MIL would be super insanely “generous,” but only to be able to say that “everyone” “uses” her She remains to this day a covert narcissist that is ruining her caregivers’ days in an assisted living facility, far away from me (bless) Her own children haven’t seen her in years She was at one time a physically beautiful person, but now looks like the hateful goblin she always was underneath her mask Karma at work
Comment from : @starrseed2687

His paycheck was his and I paid for everything 😮
Comment from : @catalinafirefly4685

Oh no!! he is always broke and very unhappy because business is down! Yet changing his whole wardrobe yearly!! Giving justification that " I am working hard and I need to reward myself I have not bought anything since"
Comment from : @nimogatitu8874

Can I mention the name of my in laws here?
Comment from : @ingodwetrust8600

This is why I can’t believe in influencers that have grandiose moments online regarding their empathy and generosity Specially the ones that get this fame with the money of their parents/spouse brIf you’re to feed the poor or help the person in need, nobody needs to know you did it personally brNowadays seems to be a good way to get likes in social media
Comment from : @CryStifled

Narcissists see everyone as property and not humans Why pay a slave?
Comment from : @elizabethhoeppner8881

Omg 100 correct
Comment from : @stephaniedriscoll4067

Recently got zapped Again Andi Owen incarnate Thank you for all you do, Dr Ramani
Comment from : @karenaldridge8851

😂😂😂😂
Comment from : @defenderborke2169

They have no ability to self reflect or do the inner work; instead they focus on the superficial such as money and belongings
Comment from : @daughterofdysfunction5623

TruebrThe father paid quarter of university's fees for our sons education brMade him feel guilty n my son had stress n was diagnosed with mystenia Gravis chronic conditions brPlus his narcissist father wants son to pay him backbrSooo ill son has to work ,taking 20 medications a day to pay father like helping to pay for fone accounts ,petrol,car installments ,groceries etcbrNot a thankful acknowledgement came from the alcoholic father 😢brIts soo disgusting to see narcissists destroying their own kids livessometimes its a hard life 😮
Comment from : @shireenramnarain4005

Totally, but spend yours like water
Comment from : @Mjones4949

💯
Comment from : @sunny73seventythree5

Thank you so much for this! Would you please offer a video on the topic - ( I an educator) HOW WE CAN PREVENT NARCISSIM IN OUR CHILDREN AND FUTURE GENERATIONS - God help us! You are a God-send!
Comment from : @sweetwaterfilm

Im watching theses videos because of my family having a narcissistic hold on them but now I’m watching and worried this is me Have I learnt narcissism off my mum? Am I a Narcissist!!!
Comment from : @charlottewilliams9949

Being a Jew didn’t help with her cheap ass!
Comment from : @Underrated7777

My mum would send all my father's money back home to Pakistan to support her lazy brother and extended family She put his sons through private school We were on welfare benefits due to my dad's mental illness and disability She soon took control of his finances On the other hand I remember waiting in line in class with a note and £1 that I had to write myself saying that my parents were on benefits and this is all they could afford for the school trip I remember many such instances during my school years Narcissists love spending on others but rarely their own children needs
Comment from : @fifijabs4463

After my mom passed away last year of March 28 2022, My brother became a greedy and narcissistic personality that he did not see
Comment from : @ArtMonkey5150